Bipolar,BPD,Depression. What’s the difference?

@Applesauce86 Hi Applesauce, this sounds somewhat similar to what I've experienced. I have depression, but I would become incredibly angry and aggressive. I felt similarly, that I was just defending or expressing myself.

I came to realize that my anger was not doing me any favors, it was just ruining my mood and spiking my blood pressure...this was particularly unhelpful after I became riddled with chronic migraines (higher blood pressure = migraine trigger). Instead, I had to figure out what was causing the anger and how to address it. This helped me fix the problem rather than going off track being angry about the problem.

To answer the question in the title:

Depression: you're either not making enough of certain chemicals, or your receptors aren't receiving properly, or both. This leads you to being unable to feel emotional highs. As a society, we think of depression as this "person is sad and crying and can't keep a job because they're sleeping all day" situation, but it never has been for me. I just don't feel happy, but I have many rich layers of sadness and low points. I guess it's like having a paint palette that's full of all the different colors of the rainbow and various shades thereof, but I just have that same palette in grayscale. I can only feel the lowest parts of emotion without the richness of the higher parts of emotion.

Bipolar: this comes with depression, but then you get periods of elation called "mania". Manic episodes fill you with a sense of well-being, self-confidence, and energy. You think that everything is GREAT, you are ENERGIZED, you don't sleep well, you're easily distracted, and it comes with poor decision-making so you may find that you take sexual risks or buy way too much stuff suddenly. Hypomania is a less extreme form of mania. Think about mania as being very bad for your life situation, such as maintaining a job or relationship, and hypomania poses a risk but may not directly jeopardize. One example could be a manic episode has you quitting your job or just not showing up because you decided to do something else, but a hypomanic episode might have you showing up to work a bit late, or not doing as good a job at work because you're distracted. You might be fired during the hypomanic example, but it's not guaranteed...whereas the manic example you'd almost certainly lose your job.

With depression, I have periods where I am less depressed and the world seems a bit better, but I do not ever reach the highs of a manic (or hypomanic) episode. If you do not reach these highs, either, then it is not likely that you have bipolar. There are different types of bipolar, so it's always good to see a doc to get a proper diagnosis. I can just talk about this in my own experience.

BPD: I kind of think about BPD as "bipolar on steroids". There are more frequent and more damaging mood swings, more frequent impulsive behavior, and it can come with periods of paranoia. There is usually a strong fear of abandonment, and relationships develop quickly, strongly, and strongly negative feelings can happen even when unwarranted. For example, let's say you and I become friends. If you have BPD, you will think I'm THE MOST BEST AMAZING FRIEND EVER and want to hang out ALL THE TIME. I have chronic migraines, so there are times when I cannot be with friends, and I have a full-time job, too. So if I am unable to hang out or message you for a few days due to my physical health and job stress, this is normal for someone in my situation. It has to do with me, not with you, and not with our relationship. However, if you have BPD, you will take this as me ABANDONING you, you will think I am CRUEL, that I DO NOT CARE, and you may feel driven to send me hateful messages, maybe even email my boss and try to get me fired, you may show up at my house or workplace and harass me because you feel I was unnecessarily cruel to you.

Relationships with BPD, I'd characterize them as parasitic more than anything. The person with BPD latches onto the other individual and uses that person for validation. But as soon as the person expresses a normal and healthy need for a little space, the BPD person will feel utterly rejected and abandoned. As a result, they will react in unpredictable and aggressive ways towards the person. Rather than being used for nutrition, a BPD "parasitic" relationship uses the other person for self-esteem and validation. Without that person "feeding" the BPD "parasite", the person with BPD feels starved of this self-esteem and validation, which makes them feel worthless, abandoned, and unloved, and this causes a strongly negative reaction. NOTE: this is not to say that I am comparing people with BPD to parasites. I am comparing the BPD itself, not the person, to create an analogy.

I have personally experienced a fear of abandonment and uncertainty in relationships due to my bad childhood. However, I do not blame the person for this. Due to my depression, I blame myself for being inherently unlovable, and I say to myself, "I understand why they do not want to spend time with me, I am trash." If I had BPD, I would be more aggressive towards the person. It'd be as if the feeling of despair is directly proportional to the aggressive behavior, as if the depressive feelings work as a fuel the angry behavior.

So, in short:

Depression: cannot feel "highs", but feel many types of "lows"

Bipolar: swing between the lows and highs without warning, and risky behavior can come with the highs

BPD: a sense of self is only present in conjunction with a relationship (friendship, romance, etc.), and as soon as the other person does not meet the expectations of the BPD person, the BPD person loses a sense of self-esteem and validation, which can fuel aggressive behaviors. Feelings of shame, paranoia, losing sense of reality can also occur. The person with BPD does not have their own sense of self, and therefore often switches their goals and values...it may seem to others that the BPD person is changing personalities depending on who they're with

I hope this has been helpful/informative in differentiating the three. Keep in mind there is treatment for all three. BPD can typically be treated without medication, while bipolar and depression can be better treated using medication (but it's not required). Regardless of your situation, there is a treatment plan.

I mean our healthcare system right now is designed to treat symptoms with a pill basically and if a person wants out of that they have to really want to work hard to change and go independent and access massive levels of perseverence, persistence and patience.

And this can be insanely hard to start soooooo I get why a lot of people don't.

A lot of people have gone off medication and live healthy, wealthy happy lives after a doctor told them they'd be on it forever; they took up things like yoga and started looking at their upbringing and personality and epigenetics and environment and diet and everything and healing that instead of just covering up the wounds over and over so to speak.

So remember that doctors and hospitals are just one path, that you're the driver of your health and life and it's way, way easier than you think.

Now go live your one most precious life. You can do it! You better do it...Don't make me come over there haha :) :) :)

Louise Hay may be a great place to start. Check out her YouTube channel!

I’m going through a relationship with a bully or lying narcissist I understand your trust issues stay strong.