Caffeine: My Fatal Attraction

I have been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder for awhile and upon seeing my first counselor, who I'll call J.A, she told me that I drank so much coffee I was basically giving myself panic attacks and that if I didn't go decaf she would quit seeing me. Understandable. She wasn't going to waste her time helping someone who wouldn't help themselves by taking a preventable measure to help their own condition. Caffeine is a blessing but it is also a curse to the mentally ill. It is a stimulant and can easily overwork brain chemicals so that what wasn't a big deal is suddenly the end of the world because the brain is so overstimulated.

A big symptom of MDD is feeling tired/sluggish/unrested all the time. I also work healthcare so I need to be focused and at least functional to do my job and drive safely.

So I'll watch my caffeine intake while staying true to my decaf coffee regiment (meaning an increase in the amount of pop/soda and Monster energy consumed) in an attempt to make it through every day waking up exhausted. I'm going to mention it to my doctor once the whole transition is made between my PCP who is leaving and the guy who's replacing him. I know there's probably something I can do (like exercise more) in order to help myself but I'm wondering if he might suspect a sleep problem as well.

Either way, I'm stuck in an endless cycle of over-caffeinate, panic attack, detox until I can figure something out. As wonderful as it is to finally feel some semblance of being awake, the resulting panic attack after days of not carefully monitoring my caffeine intake isn't.