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Has anyone else experienced something like this

User Profile: Twentyonepepes
Twentyonepepes March 18th, 2018

A couple of months ago

I lost myself

I was outside my own body

Everything was numb

I was out of it

I was just sitting there

Could not speak

Could not move

Could not do anything

I felt like I lost control

It didnt feel real

It was kind of like I was half awake

And this was just a dream

When I had to speak responses were short

But it just didnt feel right

I had to get out of the room to the bathroom

Even though walking felt weird

I had to be somewhere by myself

I was just sitting there in the stall

Still not feeling not right

I kept slow breathing with my eyes shut but nothing worked

Then I saw my friend walk in

As soon as she was in the stall

I walked out and was thinking about going to another bathroom but instead I just ended up walking back to class while nothing changed

12
User Profile: Booklover95
Booklover95 March 18th, 2018

@Twentyonepepes

Sounds like dissociation. It might happen due to massive anxiety/panic attacks or due to trauma. Is like you're starring at the world through a camera instead of your own eyes right?

6 replies
User Profile: Twentyonepepes
Twentyonepepes OP March 18th, 2018

@Booklover95 yes! Like a camera. This would happen for me again once in a while but not as severely while walking in the halls or when Im stressed in front of friends. This has also happened I think a couple of times at work. Even though at work Im forced to be talking to people it felt forced and sounded weird. Also once I remember I thought I accidentally put in that a guy wanted $10 back from his order since Im a cashier so I just didnt take it out. But then the guy asked for the 10 and I was like oh yeah sorry about that have a nice day. Then throughout the night I was working I realized I didnt remember things I was doing a lot that night. 😅

5 replies
User Profile: Booklover95
Booklover95 March 18th, 2018

@Twentyonepepes

yeah then it seems to be what I just said :/

I have it myself but sadly I don't know how to fix it for good. But it does help to reach for a professional. Do you have the possibility to have one for free?Maybe through your family doctor or something.

4 replies
User Profile: Twentyonepepes
Twentyonepepes OP March 18th, 2018

@Booklover95 I havent been through trauma really I would think but I have probably developed anxiety or depression and I have autism but Im not sure if its related. Im also not sure if thats a possibility I havent looked into it but I have talked to my school councilor about my social issues having to do with autism and being nervous about situations but thats it.

3 replies
User Profile: Booklover95
Booklover95 March 18th, 2018

@Twentyonepepes

I can't speak about autism because I'm ignorant on that subject, but anxiety and depression can make you experience that.

But you're already seeing help which is amazing :) Keep going! If you work hard I'm sure you'll find a way to cope. And meanwhile if I find a good answer to this I'll for sure update you.

User Profile: Sendingx
Sendingx March 18th, 2018

@Twentyonepepes how often do you feel like your viewing life through this 'camera'?

1 reply
User Profile: Twentyonepepes
Twentyonepepes OP March 18th, 2018

@Sendingx It happened a bunch of times in December like maybe weekly. I went through a lot that month dealing with a bunch of things happening at once. Since then its just happened kinda minorly a few times most recently being a couple of weeks ago when I was too anxious to be in class so I was walking in the hallway of school and realized it felt like the camera thing all over again where my vision was acting like a video recording and I didnt feel like I was in control of my walking even though I obviously was. Im wondering if this is going to keep happening to me though because I do zone out a lot too so im not sure how associated that is.

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User Profile: Anna2N
Anna2N April 18th, 2018

I'm sorry, that wasn't me.