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Hii I need advice and help making a difficult decision...

User Profile: Capturethemoment0401
Capturethemoment0401 March 21st, 2020

Hi... so my parents have been divorced since I was 5 years old and my sister was 3 and they pretty much split custody equally. My dad got remarried and I got another little sister who I love sooo much. Now I'm almost 20 (so I don't have to follow the custody rules anymore) and everyone has been pressuring me to decide who I'm going to live with and in this case for long because they still want me to switch houses to keep it 'fair'. However lately I have been having trouble coming to terms with having to move back and forth again regularly bc while I was at college I got to live in one consistent place for the first time in my life. And while I would hate to never see my half sister a lot I'm struggling to want to go live with my dad because he gets soo mad over every little thing and I'm constantly anxious whenever I'm over there bc I'm just waiting for him to blow up.

A good example of this was today... he called me (since I was at my mom's house) and asked me what the plan was for moving out of my dorm since we were told to leave bc of COVID-19 last week. Granted I told him last week and at least once this week that my mom was having a coworker come up with a trailer to help us move out the big stuff since her car can't pull a trailer and since I was going back to her house first. I then told him he was welcome to come too and then that's when he lost it. He became mad because he only heard about this plan last week (even though I made this plan A WEEK AGO bc that's when we were informed to leave the dorm so there was no way for me to inform him anytime sooner). Then after that he proceeded to question why I made SUCH A HUUGGGEE decision without having a family discussion about it and kept saying I was wrong to leaving him out him out and that he couldn't understand why I would leave him out like that (even though I told him about my plan 2-3 times before this conversation). Then in typical fashion I apologized for doing something so terribly wrong bc I didn't want him to be mad at me anymore and said "I'm sorry that we left you out that was not our intention and I'm sorry I made you feel that way" and his dismissive response was "yeah ok whatever. I actually have work to get back to so I'm going to go now........." and I said "ok bye I'll see you soon" (bc I'm going to his house next week). And just response was "uh huh bye" and then he hung up on me.

this conversation with him today hit me really hard because usually when he is mad over little things he yells and yells until he gets it all out but today, he just talked to me in a voice as if he didn't love or care about me, it was monotone the whole time and after every phone conversation we have he always says I love you and he didn't this time. I can't imagine never being able to see my half sister again but it's getting so hard for me mentally to want to go over to his house bc I'm constantly fearing him getting angry and I have anxiety attacks about it frequently.

If you have any tips for deciding who to live with or how long to live at each or even another alternative Or tips on how to deal with my dad for myself and so I can help protect my sisters any advice would be appreciated <3

4
User Profile: SamuelFrancis
SamuelFrancis March 28th, 2020

@Capturethemoment0401 What are the positives of living with each other?

User Profile: sensibleStrawberries9877
sensibleStrawberries9877 March 28th, 2020

@Capturethemoment0401live with your friends - you're twenty. Or live in forms during college and alternate weekends with parents!

1 reply
User Profile: sensibleStrawberries9877
sensibleStrawberries9877 March 28th, 2020

@sensibleStrawberries9877 ***dorms***

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