May is Mental Health Awareness Month

It's difficult to hear. It's difficult to see and cope with. There are people who have no idea how to handle someone with a mental health issue.

A lot of people think that someone just doesn't care because they aren't sure how to cope, or help. There are a lot of people who live by the "don't ask, don't tell" type of mentality when it comes to mental health. If you can't see it, it's not there, right? Wrong.

I'm fairly new here, I'm still learning the ropes as a listener but I do feel like I've caught on quite fast. I think this website is a God send and had I had this when I was 15 and my illnesses started escalating, I may not have hit as low as I did.
Things I hear often are:
Nobody cares
I have no one to talk to
My family loves me, but they don't care.
Therapy and medications don't work
My (person) left me because of this
I can't do this anymore
I don't want to live like this anymore

I feel like, due to the lack of knowledge of mental health disorders by people who don't face them everyday it escalated these feelings. People care, they just don't know how to show it, or what to do. People don't want to talk about it because they don't know what to say to help, or even if talking will help. Families often turn the other cheek because they can't stand to see their loved one suffering, or they don't know how to approach the issue. Feeling like therapy doesn't work is typical. You really have to find a right match as far as a therapist goes, otherwise there is no connection, no understanding. Same with medications, taking the wrong medication or being prescribed the wrong medication can hurt more than help, and it's really, really draining when it doesn't help. Unfortunately, people do leave when it comes to mental health conditions; whether its self preservation or selfishness. You cannot depend on people to fix you, or help you. The only one who can do that, is you. And that is an awful awful feeling, I know. Especially when you feel like you have no where to turn. Early in our depressions we think that love, or people sitting by your side as you are not sure if you can keep breathing will help us... And it does, but it's a temporary thing. You have to find it within yourself to get out of bed every morning, to push through. You have to rely on you, and that is the most difficult thing to do when you already feel like you're drowning. Feeling like you can't do this anymore, or that you don't want to feel like this anymore is normal, nobody does. Nobody wants to feel like a burden or like they're doomed for forever feel this emptiness inside. These are all logical feelings and you are not wrong for feeling the way you do. But deep down you also know that it can get better. That it has to. But it won't if you give up, even as much as you want to.

Some of this might sound harsh, or make you roll your eyes and scoff "she doesn't get it". I do. I understand so well. Not even a month ago I was pushed to the lowest I've ever been pushed to. I had someone who promised me they would always be there, leave. I didn't know which way was up. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't get out of bed, I was sobbing uncontrollably, I was dead inside. I would lay in bed and imagine the feeling of slitting my wrists. I felt like I didn't matter. That the world would be better off without me, and I truly believed that. It's hard to feel like theres meaning in the world when the people you depend on to say "hey, are you doin' alright?" don't. I still struggle with motivation and getting out of bed. I probably will for years to come... But I refuse to surrender.

Please don't give up, please realize that people do care even if they're bad at showing it. Sometimes telling them exactly what you need from them helps. A lot of times they're hurting, too. Its hard to watch someone you care about go through issues without knowing how to help. Being helpless is awful. People love you, people care about you.

Never give up.

You're not alone.

Always keep fighting.

You will beat this.