I want to be loved too
I made friend with this person online and I like him so much. He's everything you'd want in a partner. Kind, emotionally mature, eloquent, smart, caring, etc. There's nothing in that person that I can even hate or despise about because he's perfect. You can say that I have a crush on him because it felt like I do. He's the shoulder I can cry on. He notices when something's wrong with my day just from the way I chat. He reminds me every day how cool/interesting I am as a person. He knows what word or phrase I need to lighten up my day. He's everything basically.
There was this one time where he told me how he'd always tell his younger brother a spoken story before he goes to sleep and it'll be 1 chapter per day. It had gotten so long that he lost track after 60 chapters in. He honestly enjoyed it so much that he wishes to the same to his children all over again. It's just beyond sweet and I hoped for it be mine as well.
It was a month into the friendship, when we were talking about his past relationships and how much it changed him as a person. And then he said to me that he's dating someone. He likes her a lot and she like him just as much. He told me everything that makes me feel so jealous of her. It's not his fault that I felt awful. It's not like he knows I like him.
She was everything he was hoping for. Even in the first day of them meeting from when he read a single post from her when they first met, he told me that it was just everything he had hoped to say and everything that has been stuck on his head for years. It was detailed as he said, and he reached out to her on the last minute in which they talked for 6 hours straight and the days to come after. He knew right then and there that he'd want his forever with her.
They've been dating for a long time now. A good while as he said. He can't even tell me that he's in love with her for *** sake because he wants her to hear it first. Like that's so *** good and I'm jealous of it. The way he talks of her was beyond beautiful. It is an understatement how in love he is with her because he talks of her so much in ways that I couldn't even decipher. Every word that comes out of that person when he speaks of her was of poetry.
In all honesty, I don't wish ill for the both of them as much as it hurts me. I genuinely wish they'd last for eternity because they really were meant for each other. I know that I don't stand anywhere between them. I've never wished for some else's love for each other to last forever, but it's something I want to happen for them both.
I did realize afterwards that I don't have a crush on him or in love with him. I just want to be loved and spoken with so much care as he does. I want a guy to love me like that. For someone to speak of me like I really deserve to be loved. As though I'm the most desirable person there is even if I might not see myself as one. He did say to me that I will find love one day and to not rush it and I know that myself, but where can I find such a person as perfect as him? We're both still very young and he's just a year older and yet he already found his.
Sorry if this might be too long of a rant/vent. I just want to discuss this with a few of you
@ShySquare51
Thank you for sharing this so openly it really takes courage to be that honest about your feelings. What you’re experiencing is completely human. You met someone who treated you with kindness, attention and warmth in ways that touched your heart. It’s natural to start wishing for that to be yours and it doesn’t make you selfish or wrong it just means you’ve realized the kind of love you deeply want and deserve. It also says a lot about your character that even through your jealousy and hurt, you still wish them happiness. That shows such maturity and compassion. You’re not bitter you’re just longing, and that’s such a tender, human place to be. The beautiful thing is, this experience didn’t just leave you empty it gave you clarity. Now you know the kind of love you want thoughtful, patient, expressive and safe. That’s such an important realization, because instead of settling for less, you’ll be able to recognize when someone shows up for you in that same way. It might feel unfair that he already found someone and you haven’t, but your journey is your own. Sometimes the best people come into our lives when we least expect it not when we’re searching desperately, but when we’re simply living, growing, and becoming ready to receive it. For now, let yourself feel proud of knowing what your heart needs. That’s not a loss it’s a gift. The love you’re looking for is possible And one day, someone will speak about you the way he speaks about her because you’re worthy of being loved that way too.
You’re not “too much” for wanting it and you’re not “behind” for not having it yet. You’re just in the middle of your own story, and the right chapter is still waiting to unfold. 💙
@16peacefulBraveheart01 Thank you for the response, you made me realize a thought stuck in my head:)
I feel the same way… I dream about that kind of love. I want to be loved too… *hugs* <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 I hope we both find that someday🥀
Me too <3
@ShySquare51 First of all, I'd say you're a lovely person with a good heart as it's not an easy feeling when someone well, you want to be loved by dearly give it to somone else. I think a lot of us have been through this point and you're not alone and ofc there's nothing too much when you said you wanna be loved. We all want to!
I think the other thing I'd wanna let you know is that most of us have been in the position where we felt like we've found someone that they seem like the best person in this world and like no one can ever replace them, but trust me, most of the time, you can find someone that can be much better or even as nice as them cuz you're young, you have so many things going on on the front, you'll never know who you're gonna meet (sounds cliche but it's true, hard to believe it when you're not feeling ok, it's alright, you can see it for yourself one day and it's true) <3
@enchantingDaisy7570 You do have a point, but we can't say the same thing with people finding love through there childhood partners and still managing to last for eternity
That’s ok. Unpredictability is something we can’t do much until it happens. It sounds like the hard time for you atm. Sorry cannot do much **hugs** but I genuinely hope that you can find one soon because it’s true that we can’t just need love from ourselves but also from others as well!
@enchantingDaisy7570 thank you so much for your words and the digital hug too. I really hope I'll be able to find the one soon, but until then I'll continue to work on myself
Thanks again!
Well same thing happened with me...I liked a guy he would listen to me ...i thought that i loved him....but he was talking to another girl at the same time itself and he randomly fought with me one day and then I tried to talk to him after that he told he was dating a girl and yeah....the girl told me that there might be serious consequences if I talk to him now.....then I wonder one thing was that person really good in first instance for me...i don't think...so i learnt from this experience that never like or love any person beyond your self respect.... because if you do that other person will crush you in the worst way possible
@reservedClementine3978 I'm sorry that happened to you. People like them never learn until they've been hit by reality honestly.
