Job Anxiety.
Hi, so I get some extreme anxiety for some odd things, or at least they seem odd to me. Maybe people here will understand though. I had a job last year, nothing fancy just a little cleaning. It worked well for me because it had a small team, clearly defined work, and I didn't have to interact with the costumers of the business too much. When I applied they where short staffed and an interview was a formality, so I started right away. It was my first job and it was good. The problem is that it was seasonal. So at the end of the summer I was once again unemployed. Now it's coming round to summer again and the same job is available and I can reapply but I have so much anxiety for reapplying that I can't apply for it. I don't know if the process for reapply is the same as if I hadn't worked there last year. It's stupid that I can't apply not because I'm scared I will not get the job, not because I think I can't do the job, not because I didn't like the job but rather because I'm to afraid of a small process at the begining that in all likelihood is exactly the same as when I applied the first time. I'm afraid of meeting people I know from there and afraid that there will be new members of the team. I have so many anxieties and fear about it I'm paralysed. And all this time I have family pushing at me to get a job. It's like being battered against in invisible wall. No one can see it, only I can feel it, and everyone thinks I'm just pretending it's there.
@HatsEatYou
Hi, well, I'm not going to collude with you - just because you can feel the wall, doesn't mean it exists.
I wouldn't say that you are pretending - that implies that oyu have some kind of control over the process, and you haven't.
But yes, the wall only exists within you. Which is useful,because a therapist could help you to take it down.
Perfectly normal. Most people have anxiety with interviews-ASD or not.
@laymasterflex
I just wanted to clarify it wasn't the interview I was anxious about it was that they changed the application format. I don't find interviews all that bad, but if a process I've been through suddenly changes and my expectations are subverted, i find it extremely difficult to cope with.
@HatsEatYou
It might be two things that are working together. I beleive I am autistic and that can make me dwell on odd things and struggle to explain them, or put them in to context. I also have Dyslexia which means I am thrown out is things change or are alterted with little notice.
My work seems to enjoy changing processes and I was recently pulled up for doing the correct way and taking too long, this meant another downward spiral.
So, there may be one or more things that are working in conjunction to make the situation worse for you.
This is more of a vent than a request for advice...but input is still welcome! As someone on the autism spectrum, I find my workplace to be sort of a nightmare. Customers/managers often think I'm being rude or that I don't know what I'm doing. I had to actually file an ethics report to keep myself from getting fired because of said issues.
I have anxiety about work on a regular basis...to the point where I often have dreams about literally everything going wrong in the workplace.
@Hattie613
I know how you feel, I have bene told the only reason I have not been passed to ER is because I might be Autistic.
@HatsEatYou man do I understand you! Same same. Job hunting of any kind is the absolute worst horror ever.
It paralyses me. It sounds like will be the same process as last year and you lived thru that and you can do it again. Remind yourself of that. You can do what you did before .you can conquer this I know you can . It won't be fun but you can. Go for it.
