The Desire to Become an "Animal."

Does anyone even relate to this? I'm a very weird teenager for thinking like this. So... I have a thing with being an misanthrope. I despise humankind as I have seen horrible things that people do. The internet and also hearing things like my mom's murder documentaries and have made me think like this. Paranoia also exists when I walk outside alone. People might hurt me, kidnap me, shoot me, anything. Not only paranoia, sadness, anxiety, and anger exists, but a desire as well. A desire to have more "animalistic" parts, like a tail. Due to feeling distant and a bit angst towards human society (specifically mean-spirited and evil parts about it), I desire having (and trying to get) a fox tail. I feel a connection towards animals, specifically the fennec fox. Fennec foxes are shy and timid... like how I am with my undiagnosed social anxiety, struggling to make friends. I was very quiet when I was young child, not making one PEEP out of my mouth. No words. Nothing. I'm not exactly fond of it, always this fear when I try to talk to someone I don't know. Anyways... fennecs, to me, are sensitive and little creatures that can be energetic and bouncy. I am similar to them... and due to this connection with personality, I feel connected to them. They are like some sort of spirit animal or something, idk. However, I'll feel too awkward and weird discussing this matter to anyone I know, my family. I even feel weird to express details about it here. However, this desire won't really go away. My brain feels more comfortable expressing myself as more "animalistic." I am... still somewhat human (even if I don't fully like it), but I just feel like adding an animal part. A tail and maybe some kind of mask. I even FEEL like something is missing or I feel like having something behind my back. A fennec fox tail to make me feel whole and more connected with identity. I hope this isn't too weird with anyone and I hope I didn't insult anybody with this. Thank you for reading this, have a good day/night/whatever time it is for you. Bye!