How do you handle lack of Appreciation?
we've all been there...in a situation where you expect appreciation for your efforts or achievements..but instead you find lack of appreciation or minimizing of the efforts done.how can you handle this in a positive way that does not disturb your peace of mind..
Well ..for me..when faced with such reaction from others..i try to reward myself for a job well done by taking myself out for pizza or buying a new perfume or going to dance classes
What about you?
@charmingMirage99
Super interesting question!
Personally, the strategy I've adopted over the years is that I don't give to receive. I know, that sounds pious but hear me out!
When we give something with the expectation of recieving whether it be gratitude, a returned favour or any other gain, we are relying on the other person to validate us or treat us as we've treated them. There's room for disappointment, bitterness & even lowering of self esteem. If you give only for the sake of giving then you can't be disappointed & anything extra recieved becomes a lovely added bonus!
Naturally there are times in life where this just is not viable - usually when your giving nature has been taken advantage of. In those instances, it's invaluable to be able to say no & be comfortable in stepping away before resentment (human nature!) can set in. Your kindness is a gift - not something to be abused!
Lastly, the simplest of words can be the most difficult for some folk to say, (thankyou, sorry, I appreciate you etc) but that doesn't mean they aren't FEELING gratitude.
Just my 2p worth & I'm really looking forward to reading other folks' coping strategies 😊
@IAmHere83
Thank you for that insight...i loved the part about feeling the gratitude but failing to verbalize it .
I guess "recognition" is the right word to describe what i wanted to say rather than "appreciation"...like when I pass an important test with good scores or get accepted in a desired job,,and then people fail to celebrate those achievements and act as if I'm invisible.
I've learned that along the way, not many people will appreciate or realize what good help is until it's gone. The way I keep my peace of mind is knowing that I did my best, it leaves me with no hard feelings knowing I gave it my all.
@charmingMirage99
I'm dealing with this a lot at work right now. One thing that helps is to remind myself of other situations where my work IS appreciated and valued. I also remind myself that, of all the things I've been involved in, the majority of my colleagues have believed that I'm cool, smart, efficient, and generally awesome. So, the pattern is that I'm awesome.
Sometimes, the problem really isn't you, it's them. So, why don't I get appreciated more at work? Because the people who I work with don't understand how fantastic I am. Ultimately, it's their failure, not mine.
@IntellectualPenguin123
This is great - I feel I'm in the same boat and it's been getting me down because I can't seem to reframe my situation more positively. The way you put your situation in perspective has helped me see my situation more clearly. Thanks!
@beachyinfp
I'm glad my comment helps. Sometimes, it's so tough, but I just keep reminding myself that the majority of the people I've known and worked with see me in a much more positive light. And, when the people I respect and like the most are also people who respect and like me, it's easier to separate the negative nancies and recognize them as outliers.
When I am feel a lack of appreciation I often reward myself even if it is small things, treating yourself is the perfect self-care package as well
Luckily this does not occur in my personal life...At work I just remind myself that not every supervisor or boss is good a positive feedback or expressing appreciation. Then I appreciate myself "you rocked today", thats enough to get a little something new. lol
