How can I be kinder to myself?

@LovingImmersely Realize that everything you do is the best you can do at that moment. It’s true of everyone. Don’t use the phrase, “should have” when recalling your past actions, it’s always a trap. Realize that you’re the most important person in your life - you are with you 24/7 and no one is better suited for being responsible for you than you. You don’t manage which thoughts and feelings bubble up, but you do manage how to respond to them. It’s a tough and wonderful job. Many of us try to manage our thoughts and feelings as a harsh disciplinarian and that doesn’t work so well. We try to “master” our thoughts and feelings as if they were a bull to be wrestled to the ground. Self kindness and self compassion are much more effective. Our thoughts and feelings don’t fight us when we are self compassionate but they resist like a cornered bull if we insist on corralling them. Realize that if you practice self compassion you’re less likely to be battling yourself and that frees you. It frees you up to see others and extend compassion to them as well. I call self compassion the airline rule. In an airplane they tell us, “In the event the cabin loses pressure secure your own oxygen mask before your child’s.” You can’t be helpful to others if you pass out from oxygen deprivation. Breath. Take that moment to care for yourself, then you can show up for others. In this way, self compassion can be seen not as selfish but necessary. Necessary for ourselves and for those around us. It’s one of the most useful skills one can develop.