Dredging up old scars
Since Thanksgiving my wife has lost both of her parents to cancer and watching her grieve for her mother has shown me how I should have been when I lost my own parents.
I've avoided all types of therapy like the plague thinking that I would be able to continue to fight my own mental struggles on my own like I have been doing for the last 26 years.
I know now by watching my wife try and heal that I should have reached out for help a lot sooner than today.
After losing my mother in '99 when I was just a young teen to '08 losing my father to cancer, I'm hoping to heal and grow with the help that this community can provide.
@samrmoo hello samrmoo and welcome to the forums. Firstly, my condolences on the loss of your parents-in-law, and secondly, It's a privilege to be part of your healing journey as you begin the therapeutic work of addressing the old scars you mention. It's worth saying that there is no right way to grieve - we all react differently and in our own timeframe. Sometimes if we lose someone when very young that grief is postponed or deferred until much later, when witnessing someone else's expression of emotion triggers long-dormant feelings in us. I've linked below for more about delayed grief.
We can only heal what we can access, and it sounds as though you're at that point of realisation. Wishing you the best as you take these healing steps forward samrmoo; you have the support of this community.
www.usurnsonline.com/grief-loss/delayed
@samrmoo Hello, I am truly sorry about what has been going on and I really hope that you both will be okay soon. Try making a scrapbook together if you can and this can help. Sending 🤗 your way.
