Heartless?
Hi.
I’ve been thinking a lot about grief and how I seem to experience it differently. I’ve always struggled to show my emotions, and when a very close family member passed away, it became even clearer. I stood there at his funeral and didn’t cry. I didn’t feel the same heavy sadness everyone else seemed to carry. It didn’t phase me at all. People called me cold, even heartless, and sometimes I wonder if they’re right. But maybe my grief is quieter, hidden somewhere I haven’t reached yet.
@305
Well, to be honest, it's a normal story, because everyone experiences grief in their own way. We can't be hypocrites. On the contrary, those who show their grief very strongly may be unconsciously playing to the public. So you have the right to experience it this way. The main thing is what kind of connection you had with this person, what you experience inside, how you perceive it for yourself. People are often stupid, remember this and don't follow their lead. Hold on and be strong!
I can relate to this. Most of my life I've had trouble crying with something that has gone wrong. Even today when I got the news that my girlfriend's dad had passed away. I hurt very deeply but I can't seem to cry even if I want to. I was almost able to but I couldn't get it to go.
Just because we don't cry doesn't mean that we don't internalize that pain somewhere else or some way else. It could be the feeling of aching in your body or a tightness in your chest or your stomach being upset.
Or maybe it's just one of those things where it hasn't hit you yet. Whatever the case may be, we all feel that pain in different ways and for some people like myself. We can't seem to cry probably because of past trauma. But we still feel those emotions; it just hurts in a different
way.
I agree with what others have said. Everyone grieve in different ways. I remember when I was a child that I didn’t cry over death of others as easily as I do now. I had a tendency of being able to bottle it up when I was a child and only let it out when I was alone. I found when I lost my grandma in year 2018 I couldn’t hold back the tears of all the sadness I was feeling before she passed and quite a lot after her passing.
Stay strong for those around you, but don’t be afraid to let the tears come if they do whenever they may do.
@305m my son doesn't show emotions very well either n there's nothing wrong with u for not crying. I didn't cry at my fathers funeral n he was my hero but the emotions I felt at the time didn't allow me to cry n its ok just know there's nothing wrong with not crying n nothing is wrong with u. Its normal to happen at times
@Feelinglotsnthislife
Sorry, I meant definitely not heartless or cold!
@305
You are definitely heartless or cold!
We all grieve differently!
There's no set manual!
Sometimes it hits us when we least expect it!
Sometimes at the time we simply haven't had the time to process it!
💕💜
