Hopper my cat

My beloved 5 year old Hopper, foster fail.  Had to be put down today.  He had what I thought was a sore in his mouth, but it was most likely cancer.  The vet said even if it wasn't cancer there wasn't anything that can be done as it was in the very back of his jaw.  And it was painful.  If it was treatable at all I would have done it.  

I'm crying so much.  I love my Hopper Bobber (Bobber was a nickname since he bopped people a lot)  Just last year I had to put down my Candy 11 years old with cancer.  It just hurts so much.  Hopper who loved to be held.  He loved to answer you with his unusual meow.  He loved to roll in his catnip and then head butt anyone around him.  He loved his belly rubs and his friend Boots.  (My 11 year old boy, who better stay healthy)  You almost never could find him without Boots.

Winter time was Hoppers favorite as he liked to play in the snow.  He was loved dearly and will be missed greatly.  I was there with him as they put him down.  It doesn't help people say I gave up on him.  And now my head keeps saying that.  

He was taken to other vets before this.  He was on antibiotics and I thought he was getting better.  But he still had pain in his mouth often.  He was eating less.  He would claw at his mouth sometimes from the pain.  I just feel so guilty.  Thinking maybe I should have seen another vet yet again and see if they could remove the tumor so he could eat normally again.  But would it have been better as they most likely would have to remove his jaw?  What about pain meds?  It just won't stop circling my mind.  Did I put down my kitty for nothing?  It hurts so much.