I lost my dog

I lost my baby girl last January 8, 2026. I just came back from a vacation, it went so fast, the next thing I knew she didn't survive the surgery. I am blaming myself, since I didn't get her checked last November 2025. I know something was wrong but I don't have the money that time and the symptoms did stopped. She endured the pain for the whole month of December 2025. She didn't even cry. Then my vacation started, I wasn't home on new year. If I knew that was hee last New Year, I didn't go on a vacation out of town.

When I came back, January 6, 2026. She was so thin and weight almost nothing. My mom told me she wasn't really eating anything. Then she started crying the moment she saw me on the airport.

Then January 8, the symptoms started again. I took her to the vet and the vet said she needs immediate surgery. She got pyometra, it's common on older female dogs. She was 5, she's supposed to turn 6 this year. But she's gone, I'm still blaming myself. I could've prevented her loss.

It's her 4th month of being in dog heaven today. I am so sorry if mommy failed you. I really love you you're my baby girl after all.

Sometimes the grief is not there, and I thought I'm okay. But I am not, everything reminds me of her.

I'm so sorry and thank you.