Loss Of A Child
I'm new and I just wanted to say hello. I have three daughters and my oldest was a type 1 diabetic that refused to manage her condition like she needed to. She was living on her own with two roommates who went on vacation for 2 weeks. When they returned she had been passed for two days in her room alone. There is more to story and I will always feel tremendous guilt that I carry with me always. The only thing that gave me comfort was the realization that I will grieve for the rest of my life. There is no possible way to feel all the pain there is with such a loss in any amount of time. This one thought enabled me to continue on with my life and still be a mother to my other two girls I still had. It's unfair how life turns out sometimes, but if this one little thing can help any one else then I am glad I shared my pain.
Thank you.
@Here2Hear22
I'm very sorry for your loss, and that you have to go through this very painful experience. I lost my grandson a few years ago, under different circumstances, but similar from the standpoint that it feels as though it didn't need to happen.
There were times in his life, when I was there for him when his father wasn't, and we remained close until the end.
I spent a long time asking myself whether I could have said something or done something different to help him out. I still wonder about that sometimes, but more often, I feel convinced that at best, despite any possible intervention on my part, he may have lived a bit longer, but his absolute determination to take risks with his health, would have lead to the same outcome.
My son also deals with feelings of guilt, but I'm convinced that he did the best he could, and that even if he were the most wonderful parent around, it still wouldn't have changed the outcome.
Yes, the grief will remain a part of you, but it will become more integrated with who you are, and become more manageable.