Loss of dad

I lost my dad today. I wasn't informed that he had been in the hospital for a week and had been on a ventilator. I thought his phone might have been broken, as he was having some problems with it. This morning, one of his friends called me to tell me that he had died in the intensive care unit...

We didn't have a close relationship, and there were enough problems in our communication in the past... but this year, he was trying to change everything for the better. But it turned out that he didn't have enough time left to live longer... It's too much to handle. I remember how he used to be before... and how angry I was at him... but when his health started to worsen that year, he changed his actions, tried to be more supportive and wanted to spend more time with me...

I'm feeling so sad because of what happened... I still can't believe that it actually happened... that such day has already happened to me and he's gone forever...