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Lost my guiding lights

User Profile: SeekingBalancePeace
SeekingBalancePeace June 1st, 2024

In 2022 my dad died with only 3 weeks notice that he had cancer that had spread and made him terminal. In 2023 my mom died with the exact same story, 3 weeks noticed. She worked up to the day I took her to the hospital. She never got to come home and I wonder if I made the right decision in helping her. I’m now left with supporting my adult sister because she never learned to be independent and I’m feeling lost because whenever something really or terrible happened my parents where my guiding light force and no one seems to be making the mark. As a therapist I know I should implement being my own guiding light as that is what I would tell my clients to help them find empowerment in their own abilities but what if I don’t want to be strong anymore?

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User Profile: CheeryMango
CheeryMango June 4th, 2024

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your parents and everything you're dealing with. It' Grief can be really tough, and it’s important to let yourself feel whatever comes up. You don’t have to be strong all the time, and it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. Supporting your sister while grieving yourself is a lot to handle. Make sure to take care of yourself too—take breaks, practice self-care, and lean on friends or family for support. As a therapist, you know the value of talking to someone. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor for support. They can help you navigate through your grief.

User Profile: JerryYao
JerryYao June 4th, 2024

@SeekingBalancePeace It is okay to feel lost when tragedies happen. Everyone are human beings with emotions. However, I really want to remind you that you have to stay strong. Literally have to. When your parents are gone, you are the support of your family, and you are the only one to educate and protect your sis. It is hard to speak out, but you wouldn't want to seem lost or weak in front of your sister, as she would only be more depressed. Cry somewhere secret, wipe away the tears with the sadness, and be a men in your family. You still have your sister, and if you really can't find a purpose for living, she would be the purpose. Hope you get out of the tragedy. I believe you as an expert in psychology won't get yourself into the depression for long.

User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul June 4th, 2024

@SeekingBalancePeace It's hard feeling like you always have to be the strong one. It's hard to be your own guiding light when you're hurting. You probably haven't even really had a chance to grieve. 


Is there a place you could hire a helper for your sister? Or maybe some program you could enroll her in that she could learn life skills? I'm assuming there's a reason she hasn't learned to be independent before - I'm sorry if I'm wrong

I know you said you're a therapist but looking into a grief counselor would be a really good idea. It would give you a space where you can grieve