My girlfriend passed away

She was everything to me, she really was my entire world. She passed away May 15 2022 from advanced stage ovarian cancer. I had a lot of weird thoughts when she was diagnosed with cancer but none of them were as weird as it ended up being. We met when I was 20 and she was 19 and we were together eight years. We were best friends. We lived together six years. We could spend every day all day together and never get sick of each other. I just don’t know how to go on without her. She had a rough past few years as her dad passed away in 2019 and we had to be the ones who found him. We lived in that same house he died in for two more years and finally moved out. She was terrified of death after her dad passed away and she would say things like “please tell me everything will be okay and I’m not going to d ie.” I would always reply “you’re not going to d ie you’re so young everything’s gonna be okay you just have you take care of yourself and it will be okay” I feel so empty and I know it’s only going to get worse. She was smart, funny, super creative and beautiful inside and out. She didn’t deserve the life that she had. Nothing will ever be the same without her. I used to tell her all the time that on the surface life is kind of pointless and if you really think about it that’s a beautiful thing. People find meaning in their lives in so many different ways but if you can find one person to love and be loved by and share life with then you’ve found a kind of meaning that nothing else in life could provide and I found that with her. She was my purpose. We were supposed to grow old together. When she would cry I would hold her and paint a picture of our future dream life together. I don’t see anything anymore. I feel robbed. Not just robber of our future, of everything we planned. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that I can no longer touch her, hug her, kiss her. I look at her pictures and get so depressed. I’m disappointed that our two year old cannot spend any more time with her mom and that we cannot have fun together as a family. I’m happy about the fact that she resembles her the most, but seeing her face every morning brings back bitter memories of my girlfriend. Everything is such a blur. I don’t want to get over her. I don’t want to move on from her. But I want to live a life that she would be proud of and raise our daughter well and I know it will take time to get there. I would do anything to have her back again. I just want her back.