Struggling with passing of abusive mother.

@MelancholyMyope

It makes sense why you must feel this way. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling but, know how you are feeling is completely valid. Grief is a very personal experience. Everyone grieves in a different way. It is valid to feel relieved since someone who was abusive is no longer in the picture while feeling a sense of loss since it was your mother too.

I can relate to your situation a bit. I won't say I completely understand since it is your personal experience. My father was a horrible human being and when he passed, it certain brought very mixed feelings since there was a sense of relief that he was gone, however, I am his blood after all so it also welcome a sense of loss.

I just want you to know that whatever you are feeling at present is completely valid.

Sending you more strength <3

@MelancholyMyope

Grief is so confusing. I think thats what makes it so difficult, we all have our own personal ways of grieving. Theres no right or wrong, and I think thats really important to acknowledge. 

Its completely natural and valid for you to be experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions you're struggling to navigate. Im really glad you're being present with your feelings, thats not easy. 

Numbness is an incredibly heavy, disorienting thing to carry- especially when society tells us we "should" be feeling deep heartbreak. Emotional numbness isn't a lack of feeling. 

I guess what Im trying to say is- it'll be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not even in 6 months from now, and thats okay.

Grieving doesn't have a certain duration and then just disappears, but all the hopelessness that comes with it isn't forever. Please dont ever hesitate to reach out if you need a shoulder to lean on. 💛