Time Did It's Thing

I saw my Mother's death coming as her health declined these last few years, I tried to prepare myself for the moment she passed and all that mental preparation did nothing. I sit in a depression I'm unable to shake. At 37 years old I never expected to feel like a lost child yearning for the comfort of a hug from a mother I can not longer touch. I feel guilty daily for not calling her. Now I have to settle for hugging an urn because I feel completely abandoned. I have to be thankful I have many of voicemails saving your voice to help on the many days I've felt lost without your love around since you've passed. I lost, so lost and trying to find my way back into the path of moving on. How? Time did it's thing and took you from the work like it has and will continue to do. The world keeps spinning but currently mine has stopped....I'm not sure how to start the momentum going again after everything that's happened, is it even worth the hassle of it all? Life has continued to strip away until I'm at my bare bones, yet I'm require to have the strength to continue on? It's unfair, that's life. Even at my age the cruelty of time was able to wound once again.