Trying to breathe
Hey all,
Yesterday was the 2nd year since my daughter and her mother passed away. I won’t lie I most definitely was just sitting outside on my steps or taking walks around while high to distract myself but ending up crying at the park later in the day. Today I don’t know aim just so angry and I can help it. Either I’m angry or crying, or doing both😭But yeah I’m not sure what writing this is going to do for me but I guess I feel a little less angry as I write this. I hope you all are doing okay and if you’re not, that’s okay. Keep your head up and breathe. Lord knows that’s what I’m doing right now.
Love you all,
Till next time
@ShaunW1927 Hey Shaun, thank you so much for sharing this. I can hear how painful and heavy the day was and I'm really sorry you're going through this💜 Losing your daughter and her mother is an unimaginable kind of grief, and the way you describe your day (sitting outside, walking around, trying to distract yourself and crying at the park) shows how much you're carrying right now.
It sounds like you're experiencing a range of emotions from being angry to the tears, and grief can certainly come in waves like that especially around anniversaries. It makes complete sense why you would feel overwhelmed. Two years can feel like both a moment and a lifetime, and those emotions don't disappear because time has passed.
You mentioned that writing this has made you feel less angry, and it shows how much you've been holding inside. Sometimes it can help putting the feelings somewhere (even in a post like this) to give a tiny bit of breathing room and I'm really glad you reached out instead of sitting with it alone.
It's clear how much love you have for them, and how much this loss has shaped your life. You're doing your best to keep going, even when it feels impossible, and that strength comes through in your post.
If you feel comfortable, I'd love to know your favourite memory with your daughter and her mother. If you do ever wish to have some 1:1 support, please do connect with a listener sometimes it can help having a listening ear.
I'm sending all my good wishes 💜