Unsure If She's Gone
She's sixteen soI know she doesn't have that much time left but last night she didn't come out of hiding at all. I looked for her before work but couldn't find her. She was very affectionate the night before until I had to get up to stip the puppy from chewibg something.
My brother is going to look for her when he gets off of work but I just have this feeling...
I can't seem to stop crying which is embarrassing because I'm at work. It's also not something many would understand. She's a cat that my mom had then I got custody of when my mom moved upstate.
I feel slightly guilty. Like maybe she was trying to tell me something but I wasn't paying attention. It's been a hard past couple of weeks with not getting enough sleep because of the puppy and then the AC going out yesterday...
But I have no one to blame but myself. It's just me and I have to carry the weight of everything whic is hard because I'm also extremely incompetent. If I wasn't, then maybe she'd still be around. I've already been questioning my ability to take care of the puppy so this hasn't helped matters any. And I don't have a lot of money so properly taking care of her if my fears are confirmed...
@Enthenia She's a very pretty girl :) I know some time has passed since you wrote this. I hope you've found her and she's ok. Maybe she was just sleeping really deep?
She's still moving about but I know her time is severely limited. I had to force feed her and her coat is not like it used to be. I put some water down where she can reach it and I called the vet. They wanted me to bring her in but I know there isn't anything they can do.
All I can do is make her as comfortable as possible.
@Enthenia Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear she's not doing good. You're right there's not much that the vet good do - especially with her age. You made sure she has some food in her belly and she's got water. She home with you and you're doing your best to keep her comfortable. That's all you can do. I'm so sorry ❤️
*Sending you strength*
@mytwistedsoul Thanks. It is painful. I checked on her and had to force feed her a little bit of food before I took the puppy out. Checked on her again when we got back and petted her. She's still alert but I just feel helpless. There's really nothing I can do for her. I feel just like I did when I lost my dog two and a half years ago.
I just hope that she can last a full day because the vet is closed on Sunday.
@Enthenia That helpless feeling is one I know all too well myself. I'm sorry you lost your other dog a little while ago too. With what you're going through now with your cat - I'm sure that's probably reopened that wound and brought up a lot of memories
How were things today?
@mytwistedsoul well the dog was a couple of years ago and I lost another cat last July. She made it through the weekend. My brother brought over some packets of broths since I thought that might be easier to give her than what I had been trying. Moist food mixed with water. The pieces were too big to fit through the dropper. She's moving around a bit, just not the way she used to.
Will check on her as soon as I get home. At least she doesn't seem to be suffering, she's just extremely tired.
The puppy lay close to her for a bit last night. That's another thing I will have to eventually deal with. Looked at an adoption site earlier but all the ones they had were over five years. I think a younger one would be more compatible for the puppy.
Dear Enthenia,
Have you tried hand feeding her? You may also try mixing dry food with a little water. Wet food is always better, do you already feed her with canned food or pouches? Try to observe her litter as well, if everything is normal. I couldn't understand well what has caused her issue but please do not give up on her right now they can get really sick before they get well again. Certainly don't blame yourself, you are doing only what you know. Trying to find an emergency vet on call may be good at this time. They may offer thing on phone until Monday as well. Wishing all the best to you and your little one. Love, and strength at this time. She will be good.
@WavesandSea Yesterday I helped her up onto the counter and opened a new can of food. She didn't even touch it. Once I have the puppy in the crate, I leave out the dry food for her but it was obvious that she wasn't eating it. She looks disheveled and I've read that can happen with cats when it's close to their time. There is an emergency vet somewhat close to me. I looked it up on the last night for my dog two and a half years ago. But they charge a couple hundred dollars. I have almost fifty to my name right now.
Currently, she's curled up underneath the bed. I gave her some more food through a baby syringe. She didn't like it and I spoke quietly to her. But she's not as aggressive as she could have been if she were behaving normally. I would have been bitten or scratched if she had been her old self.
I've patted her head and tried scratching her chin after I fed her. I only did the syringe a couple of times. I didn't want to add to her distress.
It's just at this stage I feel so useless. I got this way when I lost the other two animals. Then I wonder that perhaps I didn't do enough for them. Or maybe what I did wasn't the best for them. I'm horrible with people and I seem to do better with animals but then at times like this...I question everything.
Like with the puppy. She's a working dog and I live in an apartment. I've had people tell me that she's not an apartment dog but I take her out for long walks on the weekend. We were gone for three hours this morning. Once it gets cooler, I can take her out for a fairly long walk in the evening. She listens but then she gets wound up and doesn't listen. She's not even eight months yet so I've got the age working against me. When she doesn't listen or gets into a chewing frenzy late at night, I feel useless and incompetent again. Then I question if I am really right for having her.
It's similar to how I feel/felt with the other animals. Was being with me really the best option for them? I know it's all speculation but I can't help but wonder. I mean I'm nothing spectacular or anything.
@Enthenia
Dear Enthenia, I hope things are better now and you had some help from the Vet. You are doing what you can, please do not blame yourself. It is not easy to take care of cats or dogs as they have their own issues and we are feeling helpless most of the time. You are trying hard to make them alive and healthy. Love and strength 💕
@WavesandSea Thank you. She's been a little more energetic today. I was worried since I wasn't home to feed her. I have work. But, she was awake when I got home and she managed to wander out into the living room. I think she was looking for the litter box. I had to get rid of the one I had for a top entry litter box because the dog kept kicking the litter out. It's weird, because she generally used the one in the bedroom which is still where it's always been. I had to get two because when the other cat was sick (kidney disease), he had trouble getting to the box in the living room.
I fed her as soon as I got home. I had to pick her up which annoyed her because the dog tugged on her tail. The dog was excited because she was able to get out of her crate (have to put her in one otherwise things get destroyed while I'm at work) and so she was a little over-enthusiastic and was jumping.
But back to the cat, I've been mixing some of the potassium supplement I had left over from the other cat in with her food. It seems to have helped because she's not quite as lethargic as she was Saturday. She's still not as active as she has been but at least she's not completely sedentary.
@Enthenia
Don't blame yourself. My tuxedo cat is also missing. It's been 3 days already. We are so worried about him and we pray that our Cat will come home soon.
It's alright to cry. I had many times that I dragged myself to work and cried because my Cat died. It's not easy. But be strong and have faith.
There are situations in life we don't expect. Problems that arise out of the blue.
We just got to hang in there. :)
@Jewelmoon17 Thanks. My life is always full of situations that I don't expect. At least she's still around. I don't know exactly for how long but I have to take each day at a time.
I'm not sure how the puppy will react when the time comes. I know animals feel loss. My sixteen-year-old was lying almost in the same spot where the dog was when I came home from work the day after he passed. Once I got the puppy and the initial awkward introductions, the cat would come with us on walks the way she did with my old dog. I think she was glad to have a dog again. Of course, now she doesn't go outside...
