kindEyes Grief Letter to Hitam - The Beautiful Black Stray Cat I Fed Regularly
Hello hitaaaam,
I'm planning to grieve today, so yeah, it's going to be emotional today. Thank you for visiting me in my dreams, for being able to talk too. Hitam, I miss you. But I know you're probably gone. I hope you're not sick anymore.
Rest in peace. I miss you, the one who used to meow and purr at me, who used to follow me everywhere. Hitam, I'm so sorry I left you when you were on my lap. I should have tried again. I should have bought medicine sooner. I should have seen you and not been stressed about work. I'm so sorry I've been so stressed at work that I haven't treated you well. You're just a stray, but I love you so damn much.
I thought there was still tomorrow. I thought there was hope because you were still drinking, still at home. I thought there was hope because you hadn't fully hidden, but I was wrong.
I just wish that on that day, I tried harder. I wish work wasn't so stressful that I had time to actually take care of you. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that everytime you're sick, work always seems to get in the way. But honestly. You're a lot more important than work. And it's sad to only realize it when you were gone.
I thought I can still see you. I thought I would see you birth your own little kittens. I thought I would see you grow bigger. Even my ears hurt from crying now, ahahahahahahaa. I will continue to feed all the other stray cats out there. I know all those cats are not you, but it's okay too.
It's sad that whenever I see black cats, I silently wish it was you. But it's not your eyes. Your eyes are so unique ahahahahahaha. And the way you meow, even tho I forgot how you meow now.
There will be times when I remember you and miss your companion of following me around, even to my room, God, and miss petting you, but it's okay. One day, I know we'll meet again.
Once again, thank you for visiting me in my dreams. Until the end, you're still the one comforting me, huh? Showing off that you're fine and all that.
Thank you for getting birth in front of my house. Thank you for being such a velcro and clingy cat, following me around every time.
Thank you for all the little moments of your mouse and bug catching in front of my house. And finally, thank you for always comforting me until the end.
With so much love, kindEyes
@kindEyes9789
Thank you for sharing this beautiful and heartfelt letter. As I was reading, what stood out to me most was how much love there is in every paragraph. It is clear that Hitam was not "just a stray cat" to you—he was a companion, a familiar presence, and an important part of your daily life.
Grief often comes with regrets and thoughts about what we wish we had done differently, but what I see in your story is someone who cared deeply. The fact that Hitam kept returning to you, followed you around, and appeared in your dreams speaks to the bond you shared.
I was especially touched by the way you continue to remember the small details—his eyes, his meow, the way he followed you everywhere. Those little memories are often the ones that stay with us the longest because they are woven into everyday life.
Thank you for giving Hitam kindness, food, comfort, and a place in your heart. I hope today's grieving also allows space for gratitude for all the moments you shared together. Wishing you gentleness and peace as you remember your beautiful friend. 🖤🐾
This is beautiful, thank you for sharing
This is beautiful, thank you for sharing
