self realization

Hello, this is Lee from India. I apologize if my English isn't great, but I feel the need to share my experiences. I've been through a lot in life. After coming to understand the concepts of consciousness and critical thinking, I find myself regretting that no one explained these things clearly to me earlier. I made mistakes, and now I'm dealing with a sense of sadness, believing I won't be able to have a girlfriend or a successful relationship.

Throughout the day, I struggle with self-sabotaging thoughts. I also find myself daydreaming and engaging in certain irrational thinking habits. This includes comparing how celebrities look and comparing people I know in my life, making decisions about their futures, and projecting those decisions onto myself. I even go as far as comparing movie characters to real people who resemble them. For instance, I believe I look like Ryan Gosling in terms of dark skin tone, leading me to make irrational comparisons with movies like La La Land and others.

Despite these challenges, I am working on changing myself bit by bit. However, I still wonder if I am the only person in the entire world facing these problems or if others feel the same way. It's a process, but I am hopeful for positive changes in the future.