Dealing with Recurring Group Support Issues as Mods

Hi there lovely community! In the last weekly meeting some issues were brought up to me, some are in progress of getting fixed, some are things out of our control and some are somewhere in between. One of the issues brought up was group support rooms...the first part of this issue (mod coverage) we are addressing through other means like alerts, outreach programs and such; the second part of that issue was members circumventing the mutes and warnings, being overall abusive and making support rooms a tough place to moderate overall. I will talk a little bit about this second issue here.

First things first, modding support rooms is hard. If you are a group mod, please know that Im extremely thankful for your support and I admire your dedication a lot. Being a moderator is going above and beyond to ensure our members and guest can communicate among themselves and build a community in a safe positive way.

That said let's outline the issues and possible solutions:

Issue: Members being unsupportive and mean

Suggestions on how to deal with it:

→ Use the Warning System- This might seem like an obvious one but its important that we remember that the goal of this system is to keep conflicts of muting outside of the room as much as possible. Sometimes, we want to lean toward being more flexible and not muting people because they are in distress. I encourage you to use the warning system and your judgement on how to best proceed. We trust your judgement on how to best approach situations as they come in, feel confident in your modding!

→ Lead by example- Moderating sometimes means quietly observing how members interact and show support to each other, and other times it means hands on deck trying to keep the room on track. When you find that members are not giving supportive answers take the extra step and join in the conversation writing supportive replies that will allow members to get a better idea on how to support each other.

→ Seek support- If the room is overwhelmingly chaotic, dont hesitate to seek support at group mod zones or listener chat rooms or using the emergency forms.

→ Take a minute to identify the needs of the room- Sometimes, when we are under pressure to keep a group support room safe we might miss the real reason for the issue in there. It might be that members need a focus, it might be that they are very distress and need one on one support, and a bunch of other reasons. Orient your solutions and actions towards addressing those needs.

→ Pace yourself- Being a moderator is hard, it's okay to need a break and it's okay if you dont feel like moderating that day/week. Recognize your limits, practice self care regularly and remind yourself why you become a moderator.

Issue: Members Circumventing Mutes

We have IP Bans in place as well as other mechanism but we are aware that this does not stop all the users from coming back with trolling behaviors.

Suggestions on how to cope with this:

→ Refocus yourself: Sometimes we feel inclined to catch people abusing the system, but it's important to remind ourselves our goal is to provide support...when someone abuses the system they will get caught. When you find yourself worrying about if the person you muted is this new person or not, just remember it's best not to make assumptions and that regardless of how someone is here our utmost important goal is to support others. If frustration makes its way to your thoughts, take a step back, breath in and breath out, then remind yourself of how awesome you are (if you cant seem to do it look for a peer support to remind you instead!).

→ Police less and Support more: Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive. We are often inclined to want to control every situation, but remember we cannot control people, and if we try we will most likely end up very frustrated. Keep a folder in your notes about positive things that happen in support rooms every time you are there so you can balance those experiences out when you feel support rooms are the worst.

→ Recognized limitations and work on accepting/dealing with those limitations: As much as I love my community, I am very aware that it's not perfect and it's okay to not expect it to be. As a community manager I have learned something that I think we have to all practice: trust one another. I trust teen stars to manage the teen projects and be leaders (they do an amazing job at it by the way!), I trust teen listeners to support members, guest and other listeners, I trust members to be kind to each other to the best of their abilities. I know this is easier said than done, but I want you to trust in your fellow mods to be be able to handle the rooms, you have to trust you are doing the best you can, you have to trust that members will heed the warnings and you have to trust that staff is doing the best they can. Whenever you feel like wanting to control the rooms more remind yourself that you cant control how people will react, the only thing you can control is your own actions and reactions.

→ Self care, self care, self care!: Burn out can be a sneaky little enemy that surprises us if we dont practice self care often. Always prioritize yourself and take regular breaks while modding to make sure you are ready to take on any challenge.

I am aware this solutions are oriented more about individual behavior more than system changes, but these are thing each and every one of us can implement in our modding. Sometimes taking to see things from a new angle changes how we feel about it as a whole. Group modding is a difficult task and it will most likely always be a difficult task, but perhaps the solution is less about limiting people and more about empowering and guiding them.

Lastly, I wanted to let you all know we listen closely to the feedback and information you share with us. We care deeply about all of you and want you to have the best possible experience here, we are immensely thankful for all you do here and will forever appreciate your dedication to make this site what it is today. Keep up the amazing work, working together we are making the world a better place!

Other post to look at:

A Note on Lurking & Warning by @Heather

A Note on Warnings & Mutes by @Heather

Previously Block/Banned Members Creating New Accounts by @Tiare0527