sweetBlueberry's Moderator Help Guide

Moving on from a topic - sometimes listeners need more than TS to cope with the feelings that they are having here are some pretyped messages that could help you out while moderating!

Thank you for sharing. I can see you have an awful lot on your mind right now. It sounds like you would benefit from connecting 1-1 with a listener. You can choose a listener right here: https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/

Thank you for sharing, XX. I sense that this conversation is getting a little too heavy for Group Support right now. If you?d like to continue discussing this, you are very welcome to connect 1-1 with a Listener.

I want you to feel supported with this, XX. Right now, it seems to be a tough topic for others in the group. How would you feel about connecting 1-1 with a Listener?

XX, I?m so glad you?re seeking support for this and you?ve done really well sharing today. As I?ve mentioned once before, we need to move on from this topic now. Please connect with a listener if you wish to explore your experience further.

Sometimes we do get members/guests from other countries on group support, unfortunately we can only stick to English @amobachata shared this with me:

Please speak English because that's what the moderators speak, and in order for us to moderate, we need to understand you.

Sometimes in the group chat we do get friends talking to each making their own conversation, we can remind them this:

It?s great to see everyone making such good friends in the chat but let?s please remember this is a group chat, so let?s try to include everyone so nobody feels left out or excluded from the group.

I've seen some members/guests flirting in the welcome room, getting too close at times showing displays of affection, this is what we can say:

This is not a dating site, and relationships are strongly discouraged. It can also make others feel excluded, or unwelcome.

After you have said this, members/guests may not realisehow they were showing displays of affection at all, you can remind them to refer to the chatroom rules and then move on with the subject. If they are being disrespectful/disruptive..unfortunately you will have to give them fair warnings.

Refer to this post on muting members/guests:

https://www.7cups.com/forum/Welcome_27/LaurasOfficeDiscussionsWithLaura_277/OpenDiscussiononMuting_19492/@Laura

Sometimes members want to connect with each other by making a listener account and sharing details etc. hopefully this does not happen but in the case that you do see a member talking like this, we can say:

Members cannot PM each other as it is the only way we can protect members, also this is not a social media site, the main purpose of the site is to get support from listeners and to become a part of the community. they will completely understand, no need to worry.

The group can get very busy at times and hectic..not to worry, remain calm and help out as many members/guests as you can, however do remind them that if they need help they can always connect on a 1-1 basis:

This is a group chat room and it?s getting very full and the chat may move very quickly now. This means that many messages may be missed, we?re not ignoring anyone. If you find yourself in urgent need of support it may be better to connect 1-1 here and receive some individual support: https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
You can search by topics, number of chats and ratings to find a listener who is a good fit.

Advice - we have all gone through active listening and know the potential dangers of giving advice so do refer to those pretyped messages if needed:

Please don?t give advice as it can be potentially harmful since we don?t know a member/guests' full situation. Instead let?s work together to support and guide everyone!

Advice is really easy to give, but it can sometimes be wrong or even harmful. I don't have a full understanding of your life or world. Any advice I'd give you would be limited and potentially wrong. You are the expert on you. The best thing I can do for you is to help you figure out the path that makes the most sense to you.

Sometimes members/guests come in and talk about their experience that they had with a listener..do let them know that their opinion is heard, oh but remind them that listeners names should not be shared

I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience with one of our listeners. Were you able to leave a review? Also, have you tried browse listeners? You can search by topics, number of chats and ratings to find a listener who is a good fit.

Listener name sharing rule, refer them to chatroom rule no. 1 and delete the comment please

Do not share the username of any listener or member you are working with 1-on-1.

Questions that you can ask members/guests to get them to talk/share whats on their mindyou can also use these questions when you are moving on from something..

Would anyone else like to share their story right now?
So, how are you all doing?
How is everyone planning to spend the rest of their day?
Would any of you like to share what?s on your mind?

Do remind the member/guest that you are listening:

It was really brave of you to open up and share your story with us. Thank you, (XX).

Well said (XX), it makes sense you would feel that way given your situation. Has anyone else experienced something similar?

I really like how you explained (XX), that must have been challenging for you. Thank you for sharing.

If someone is not being so supportive in the group chat, you can give them this gentle reminder!

Please show support in all of your comments in the chat room. You can refer to the chat room guidelines for more information.

Can we please not participate in the chat if we are not going to be helpful. (this one if its getting really disruptive)

Sometimes members/guests come in asking about why they have been muted or reported etc. you can refer them to our 7cups contacts:

I would suggest emailing info@7cups.com / community@7cups.com to get more information about it.(depending on the situation whichever email)

Triggering topics, sometimes some members/guests feel triggered by a chat:

This is a gentle reminder that some topics may trigger some members/guests in the chat. If thats ok can I ask you to move on for the comfort of everyone else?

Respect:

Moderators are experienced listeners who are labeled under current participants.
Please show them respect and kindness at all times. Moderators are busy attending to the group and may not be able to offer a 1-1 chat at this time.

Please understand that we should respect everyone in the chatroom and support one another, and please obey what a moderator is asking you to do.

These pretyped messages can be totally changed according to whats going on in the chat but refer them to the chatroom rules and remind them that moderators should be respected

The Caps Rule, sometimes some members/guests can feel that caps lock is like shouting etc..so you can say this:

Before using caps lock please ensure that nobody is getting triggered as some can take it as shouting and this could be potentially triggering.

When someone uses bad language/swearing, refer them to the chatroom rules, and if they continuoslykeep doing it you have an option to give them a warning then mute.

Please refrain from using any abusive, graphic or inappropriate language.

Social media:

Please do not share social media on here as this is for your own security.This is not a social media website and the purpose is to seek help and become a part of the community.

Suicidal thoughts..this is a whole thing of its own..we dont deal with suicidal thoughts, we have to remember that as we are only volunteers on this website, however, we can give them the right resources and these pretyped messages may help you during moderating:

I'm sorry that you feel so sad. However, 7 Cups of Tea is not a crisis resource and for safety reasons, we can not support you. We want you to get the best care possible, and we aren't trained to provide that here at 7 Cups. I am very concerned about your safety right now and strongly encourage you to seek the appropriate help. Please visit this page to find a suicide hotline in your area: https://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html or chat on https://www.childline.org.uk/Talk/Chat/Pages/OnlineChat.aspx or www.imalive.org/

I can tell you are going through a very hard time right now. I encourage you to reach out to the resources I have provided for extra support. As a listener, I am able to show you empathy and compassion, but 7 Cups of Tea is not a crisis referral center and I am not trained to help you through this difficult situation. In a few moments, I am going to leave the chat to provide you the space to reach out to the crisis centers. I am still more than willing to support you as your listener and will check in with you shortly.(this one ismore for 1-1's but you can still change it to make it your own for moderating)

I'm really glad you came on here tonight. I know you're in a lot of pain right now and feel like you can't go on. The thing is, I know I'm not going to be able to give you the help you need tonight. You deserve the best help possible. I know several hotlines though, some by phone, some by text, and some online, where there are professionals who can help better than I can. I'd like to help you connect with one of those, if that's okay.

Please check out www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html or to access a crisis chat click here www.imalive.org/or look for more resources here unsuicide.wikispaces.com/Online+Suicide+Help#.UsTFmfTuJ0Y

Advice is really easy to give, but it can sometimes be wrong or even harmful. I don't have a full understanding of your life or world. Any advice I'd give you would be limited and potentially wrong. You are the expert on you. The best thing I can do for you is to help you figure out the path that makes the most sense to you.

www.7cups.com/forum/ListenersOnlyForums_38/TipsampHelpfulHintsforListening_61/ReferringMembersthatAreSuicidal_212/

https://www.7cups.com/forum/ListenersOnlyForums_38/TipsampHelpfulHintsforListening_61/WhyWeShouldReferSuicidalPeople_4324/

Sometimes, members/guests may keep talking about their suicidal thoughts/feelings/plans on group support and it may trigger others so remember that for the safety of others you have to mute/report them. It is hard, I know but it can be potentially triggering for others for them to stay there

Oh I also remembered referals..while you're moderating it is important that we see when a member/guest needs 'extra' support with their problem.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/tcdQ3_MAa1rMU-7sf5hF-gw/htmlview?pli=1

From the spreadsheet above you can refer them to a resource to help them and guide them. Happy helping!

Reviews:

Group Support Chat Room Emergency:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1oKogEp4WA4qyWZRenJMPdvRv_yMVnI-LdOjq7GXja9U/viewform(use this if you are in crisis during a group chat or are needing extra help etc.. otherwise do feel free to pop into our listeners chat and shout out we need mods in TS!)

Listener review form:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1uZlae5n3JZCdcYfEWmrRcJRk0qQiYKGUTca4ccqYiJw/viewform(use this to review a listener, if they are doing good or bad, its always good to let someone know they are doing good and feedback how they could make improvements etc.)

Anonymous Appreciation Nomination:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1I2WWq35v0QMaAYPGVwDVY4CZDC3LHHWgCT0xvD-rDK0/viewform(Appreciate your fellow listeners here)

Moderator review form:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1C0RSn0jTrQ9NX6BbEkmU3UsZjEiQvFwC4kIYYU-QMcM/viewform

I love this!

Wow Rabea! This is so awesome! Like really, you've compiled all of it wonderfully and it covers up almost everything! Good job, girl!❤️❤️

​@sweetBlueberry19