There's Room at the Table For Everyone: Avoiding Cliques on the Teen Side

We know that 7 Cups goes through cycles—people age up, regulars move on, and new members join. It’s the circle of life here!

We also know that when you have friends here, you want to talk to them! That is totally valid. But sometimes, when the chat or the threads become dominated by a specific group talking only to each other, it makes it really intimidating for new users to jump in. While close friendships are a huge part of what makes 7 Cups great, we need to be mindful of how clique dynamics play out in the Group Rooms.

When a public support room feels like a private group chat, it stops being a safe space for new people (and our regulars!). It feels like walking into a cafeteria where everyone is already sitting at a full table. We’ve all been here, and it’s important that we are not only vigilant but extra compassionate!

A few reminders for chatroom etiquette:

• Inclusivity matters: When a new user enters the room or types "hello," please pause the conversation with your friends to acknowledge them. If the chat is moving 100 miles per hour with convo between three people, a new person will feel too intimidated to type a single word.

• Inside jokes isolate people: We all love a good joke, but when the chat is flooded with references, nicknames, or stories that only a few people understand, it completely alienates everyone else.

  • The Rule of Thumb: If the joke requires a backstory that isn't known to the whole room, or if it's a continuation of a private conversation, it should be kept to a minimum, or reserved for PMs (or the Pen Pal space). Don't make others feel like they are watching a movie they missed the beginning of.

• Remember your first day: We were all the new person once. Be mindful that you’re not creating a space that keeps others out. If you do not remember your first day on cups, perhaps picturing how you found your place at school or within your family might be helpful. There can always be changes, especially when certain people leave, or go offline for a while. It's valid to be overwhelmed by this, but just trying to include everyone in the conversation can have a huge impact.

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Answer these important questions in the replies to take the no cliques oath!

1. How can we check that we’re not engaging in clique activity? What behaviors should we be looking out for?

2. What will you do when you see a new user?

Tag some teenies into this post and let’s try to bridge the gap between the regulars and the new waves coming in. We are here to support everyone, not just our besties. Everyone deserves a spot at the table. 💙