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Sad and Bitter

User Profile: madisonpc
madisonpc April 27th, 2023

Hello, I am in need of advice on how to deal with a situation.

my son and daughter in law are taking the respective mothers out on Mother’s Day. (I am one of the mothers). My husband refuses to go because he doesn’t like the other mother.

I am going of course, but I feel bad because my husband’s actions will surely hurt both son and DIL.


3
User Profile: hopefulPond6108
hopefulPond6108 April 27th, 2023

@madisonpc Is hubby of daughter in law’s mom going to lunch? If not, that has some symmetry. If he is, maybe make your son and dil can ask that just about the moms go if that won’t cause it’s own problems. Or say your hubby wanted to come but came down with something.


But I get it. He is going to have to deal with dil mom at other functions. He might want to suck it up and put on his big boy pants already.
User Profile: secretSea3461
secretSea3461 May 16th, 2023

It’s hard to be around people you don’t like, but sometimes you have to tough it up so you won’t hurt the people you love. Did your husband eventually go? Hope you had a great Mother’s Day

User Profile: SilentEcho1972
SilentEcho1972 July 5th, 2023

I can appreciate how tolerant you are of the other Mom. I'm sure your DIL appreciates it also. That's what makes you unique. With that said may I respectfully remind you that there is a reason your husband and the other Mom are divorced. I doubt they divorced because they were the best of friends and liked each other.


When faced with a similar situation I explained to my kids very lovingly and clearly that while I keep the peace with their mom there were boundaries that were in place and needed to be respected. Assured them that I love them very much and that by no means were they the cause of the divorce and that those boundaries help keep the peace.


I know the day has passed but there will be others. The question I would ask myself: "Do I keep the peace or risk it for a day that comes around once a year". But that's just me...