Misunderstanding

I Don’t Know if this is the correct group to place this in. Its set up different from what it was befoah so please bare wit me-just let me know if I placed this in the wrong section.

This post is bout friendship and misunderstanding. I met this girl when we both were in 4th grade together-she is 65 and I am 66 years old. At one point in 6th grade we lost touch wit each other but I kept thinking of her and was worried. Eventually due to my daughters suggesting to look for her on ***. Luckily I found her and she traveled from Texas to New Yawk to visit me. Over the years I learned she was doing her best to recover from alcoholism and a dysfunctional family.

She has been the one and only friend and true supporter I have had in my life. Tho she can be a bit too giving at times. She says I too have been supportive but mine more in listening than anything else. She is very aware I spent 20+ years in a day treatment program trying to recover from all the physical and mental abuse I received within the home by my ex and step father. She is also aware when things get tough I tend to break down and check out where I will ignore all phone calls. Wit her specifically the first time it happened was when I lost my partner for several years in 2020 from lung cancer. She forgave dat and continuously when somethin’ happens more so on my part she always apologizes for her part in it which I tell her theres no need only cuz I see it as her having done nuttin wrong.

Moving on to years later-This past week to be exact. I was tellin’ her of what type of environment I'm use to living in mainly due to how I grew up rich vs poor neighbors. Although I am considered poor I grew up many years in a rich neighborhood as my step father in 1981 passed and my mom took over his apartment which rent was crazy low considering this being New York.

At one point she stated how my family and I were of high caliber and dat she could tell it by talkin’ to my children but then she said F the rich. At dat point I would say I misunderstood what she meant and I took it offensively. Cuz by no means am I rich but she made no mention of being poor.

I ended up checking out for 2 days and eventually Monday sent her a text. She ended up calling but I could tell she was highly angry and upset. Every time I tried explaining myself she saw it as my making excuses. She told me what she felt I gotta have done and at dat point set a boundary wit me which in some ways I see her side yet I feel she too gotta apologize. She claims when she made the comments to me dat she was joking but I didnt take it as such.

Prior to hanging up she pretty much said for me to leave her alone but this girl she is my heart we have spoken a lot regarding our family dynamics our friendship and how we basically see each other as family. I dont wanna lose her out my life she is exceptionally important to me and so very special.

I texted her on Saturday which she ignored my message. I wanted to call but due to how she came off Friday when I called I was scared. I feared the rejection and her coming down on me. I did holler her today which she did respond but still isnt ready to communicate over the phone.

Ya know out of everyone I have known in my past I have never known anyone for as long as I do her. %6 years of friends I Don’t Know is too many years being friends, talkin’ on so many topics, supporting each other and to just throw all them years away I Don’t Know it doesnt make sense to me. I feel if there is true love between two people regardless of what the relationship is between both parties they gotta be willing to come together and do their best to get the situation resolved and move on. As I put in my message to her I mentioned how people do go through things and at times its the bad times dat we learn. All situations good and bad we always have somethin’ we can learn from it and in the end make our relationship stronger than what it was but to do it both parties need be on the same page. Due to my feelings for her I do feel broken and I wanna just give up. Not in as far as self harm but give up in sense of just sleeping, and not attempt to go through any type of relationships wit people not even to my own family. Growing up I was always made feel I didnt have a voice but wit her I did have a voice but after what happened I feel once again I lost the voice to chat and say what I think and feel. I wanna keep contacting her yet I dont want to pester her and make her any more angry and upset than she already is wit me.

After what I have said here does anyone feel she too owes me an apology? I did mine like 4 times where she asked what was I apologizing for yet continued coming down on me. I am lost wit all of this.