Friendships in adulthood
Anyone else find it more difficult to make friends the older you get? Or do you feel like the people who were once your good friends are more like acquaintances now? I don't have a best friend or even a close friend that I could just call up on the phone if I had something on my mind and needed a friendly ear to listen. I've found that it has become much harder to make friends, especially since I am single and most other people I know are married and have children. At my last high school reunion, I left early and I don't think anyone even noticed. I felt left out because I was the only one without a husband there or children (it was family night where everyone could bring their children).
@goldenhurricane99 Very much so. I can't even blame it on Covid, although that's making an existing situation worse. It's very hard for me to make friends. I have many acquaintances but few that I would ever share my innermost thoughts and interests. I worry that as I get older and older there will be nobody left. My friends are good friends, but they are wrapped up in their own stuff, mainly health stuff, relationship stuff, and in one case, a single parent. I can't expect them to be available on short notice. Everyone else I know is only in my life because they were friends with my partner who has been gone for 3 years now.
Leaving a get-together or event completely unnoticed is exactly what I often do.
This is totally me as well. You're definitely not alone !! 💕💕💕💕💕
I'm currently experiencing this myself as well too. Definitely is difficult for sure but doesn't mean that it's impossible. It definitely takes so much extra emotional energy but its so important to have a sense of belonging and having people who support you and have deep connections to go though life with.
I'm 33 and having some difficulty as well right now. Getting yourself out there is not a easy task. I've definitely been trying really hard lately.
@goldenhurricane99 somewhat yes, but, i think no matter how old we get, it is never too late to become close friends with someone, i guess the key is to be open to new things, new people, new oportunities.
@goldenhurricane99
defiently
Yes I do understand this it is hard for me to find new friends since I have been divorced and on my own for the past 5 years .
Something no one's touched in but which I think is a very promising, valid, and legitimate reason for finding it harder to make friends as we get older. Granted, the are plenty of reasons that can help partially explain this phenomenon such as:
Our standards are higher. We expect more. We met less people. We're not as needy. We don't have as much free time. Or focus is different (family vs friends for instance). We have more self-esteem and self-worth. We enjoy being alone. We don't have anything to prove. "Popular" is defined differently now.
The list is endless in a certain respect. But I think it all boils down to one major reason:
We're more selective.
🐻
I also find it harder to find new friends. I agree with the other posts (it is possible to meet someone to connect with, it's harder when you're more discerning/selective). I also want to add that most friends or accaintances might not have the ability or willingness to be a confidante. Unfortunately alot of people I like or love I cannot trust with my private life or confidential health-related news. This is why I think online communities are so necessary. Hopefully you'll find a buddy to chat with soon!