Guilt/Shame Due to Pilonidal Cysts & Obesity
I had to get surgery for a pilonidal cyst last year and I'm feeling severe pain in that area again. It feels just like how it did the first time. I'm freaking out. My partner is overseas and I am estranged from my family, so I don't have any close support.
Everything I've read about them suggests that this cyst coming back is my fault. I've gained more weight recently due to several stressors in my life, and obesity is one of the leading causes for occurence and recurrence. I have been doing what I can to lose weight, but it clearly has not been enough. Now I'm stuck in this situation. I've taken a hot shower and gently scrubbed the area, as well as put a warm compress with Epsom salt on it, but I am so scared that I'm going to need surgery again.
Has anyone else been in this situation before?? I really don't know how to stop beating up on myself about this.
@mylifesuckssomuch
Okay, fair enough. There are aspects of healthcare where you're responsible for yourself. I can see how that can translate into guilt and shame when a health problem recurs. And it does suck when it recurs. However, you have to acknowledge that you're a complicated case. Sure, you may have SOME control over your weight, but you're also negatively influenced by outside factors that make you a lot more susceptible to weight gain. That isn't your fault. Just like it isn't your fault that the weight gain is leading to complications like your pilonidal cyst recurring.
Honestly, from the little that you've shared in your post, it seems like you're doing what you can to take care of your health. You're cleaning the area and using a warm compress. The fact that you're making an effort in your own healthcare should be applauded even if things aren't going the way you want it to. And don't let doctors or other practitioners shame you for your medical concerns. That's honestly bad bedside manner and you deserve to be treated and respected like a person.
@mylifesuckssomuch
My husband has had 3 surgeries to remove pilonidal cysts. I know how scarry and awkward it was for him (mainly because I had to pack the hole to keep it from closing too quickly). I know that he needed my help more than ever, and that was stressful on both of us, so I understand your concern about not having any help. I don't know what stage you're dealing with (need surgery now, etc), but I do know that the hospital told us that if someone didn't have anyone to help them, the hospital would. The options were being able to stay admitted until you no longer needed help, coming in when you needed help, and/or having a nurse come to you. I don't know what your insurance allows or what options the hospital may have, but ask. I asked out of curiosity, and I was surprised by what they offered. So, ask, and tell them what you're feeling emotionally (my husband was given Ativan to deal with his anxiety prior to the surgery). The hospital should understand, and I imagine would want to help you in whatever way you may need. Good luck, I hope you feel better. 🤞
