What Makes Us Happier and Healthier?

Contrary to what you might think, the most important ingredient in health and happiness is not career achievement, material success, exercise, or diet. The most consistent finding over 85 years of research is that–more than any other factor, by far–positive relationships with family, friends, and community keep us happier and healthier and help us live longer. Researchers also found that those with strong social support experienced less mental deterioration as they aged.

Steps to Cultivate and Enhance the Quality of Your Relationships

• Practice “relational fitness.” We tend to think that they will take care of themselves once we establish friendships and intimate relationships. But our social relationships are living systems that evolve and require attention and action to sustain healthy connections over time and changing life circumstances. Relational fitness requires taking an ongoing inventory of our connections with others. This involves evaluating them with an eye toward whether they continue to serve our health and well-being. Which of your relationships have meaning and value to you? Which contribute to the quality of your life, which ones tend to detract from it, and which ones do you wish were better? More specifically, a helpful approach to assessing your relational fitness includes the following areas:
• Safety and security. Who can you turn to in moments of uncertainty and/or crisis?
• Learning and growth. Who encourages you to try new things, take healthy risks by going outside your comfort zone, and pursue your life's goals?
• Emotional closeness and trust. Who can you trust and call on when you are struggling and be honest about your feelings?
• Identity affirmation and shared experience. Who in your life has shared important experiences with you? Who helps you strengthen your sense of who you are and your priorities?
• Romantic intimacy. Do you have a healthy amount of romantic connection and intimacy in your life?
• Help both informational and practical. Who do you turn to when you need guidance or assistance solving a practical problem (e.g., home repair, fixing your WiFi connection)?
• Fun and relaxation. Who makes you laugh? Who do you call to see a movie or go on a road trip with? Who makes you feel connected and at ease?
• Smile intentionally and often. A genuine smile is a small yet profound act of kindness and generosity that also elevates mood by triggering the release of the feel-good neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine.
• Greet people when you encounter them. Say “hello,” “good morning,” and “good afternoon.” Whenever possible, greet people by name, which symbolizes recognition and connection and is among the most understated yet powerfully validating experiences a person can have.
• Express gratitude/appreciation. Say “thank you.” It’s a way of recognizing others and honoring their efforts.
• Make some time for conversations. A newly published study suggests that the simple act of reaching out to a friend for conversation—at least once a day, if possible—increases happiness and lowers stress.
• Engage in forms of caring touch (whenever appropriate and emotionally safe), such as gently putting a hand on another’s shoulder to communicate support or sharing a heartfelt hug. Caring touch has multiple physiological and emotional benefits for both people. It reduces blood pressure, lowers the stress hormone cortisol, and stimulates the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone.
• When you love people, tell them. Whether a spouse/partner, child, parent, or friend—rather than assume they know you love them, communicate it directly. James Taylor hit this nail squarely on the head: “Shower the people you love with love.”
• Get involved in some form of being of service to others. Volunteering time and energy for a cause close to your heart is an effective way to connect with more people with similar interests and priorities. Volunteering is also another way to boost happiness by providing a sense of purpose.

Read the complete article available at Psychology Today!

Reflection:

How is the quality of your relationships?

#Relationships #Happiness #Health

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