One thing I feel positive about right now is.....

@honestTortoise7644 I'm not exactly the best for relationship/post-breakup advice, since this was my 1st love and relationship, but from what I have learned I can share as best I can.

It made me laugh how I learned this from my nursing courses, but I kind of find bad breakups are like stages of grieving. You won't go through the stages in cookie-cutter sequences. Your feelings and thoughts can jump around from stage 1 to stage 3, then to 2, then back to 1, become a combo of stages 4 + 1, etc. What I did though:

1) No Contact. Don't beg and plead. Just drop radio silence on your ex. Give yourself 30 days to reflect and re-evaluate on yourself (and if you can, reflect on the things that you may have contributed to the strain in the relationship). Ask yourself what changed in yourself during the relationship: did you give up things for your significant other that you missed (like certain friends, routines, etc)? Don't even answer your ex if they reach out to you. If they need to know and you don't mind them still being and seeing your FB or Instagram, they can see through your posts of your adventures and happenings. Don't be petty and make up false images of you. Be kind to yourself and post what is making you happy right that moment. Do/Post it for you, as if you're just remembering a moment that makes you happy. If the "out of sight, out of mind" helps, do it. It doesn't quite work for me to do that, but I always see the positive to things. The teddy bear may have been his, he never asked for it back, and I love teddy bears so that's all I see it as... a cute teddy bear that kept me well through every night during- and post-relationship.

2) Keep busy and just reconnect with yourself to go back to the you pre-relationship. Gained a few inches? Go workout, and reclaim yourself. Go give yourself a mani/pedi/shopping spree. Beautify yourself because you may have forgotten to pamper yourself and been super hard on yourself. Go pick up a new hobby, a new job, etc. This is a huge one: Go have some quality girl time with your girl friends. Talking out my feelings really did help. I reached out to my friends and on here at 7 Cups, and I found out that what I've been feeling are all normal, and I also found that my situation/how I felt and reacted through my whole relationship was not a unique problem. There are others out there that have been through what I've gone through, and it helps that I know that I'm not alone. You may hear some blunt advices, but do/go in paces that works for you. Plus, hearing from my best friends about what they felt and saw... it helped me digest everything. What really tipped me over to find happiness was that I really realized that I gave up my friends for my ex, and to hear even from my friends' significant others what they felt about my ex. It woke me up somehow.

3) I did a little online dating chats (haven't really met anyone from there) a few weeks after I got broken up, but I didn't want to go into a rebound. But if you're ready, go for it. But only when you are ready. Cuz I felt that I was undatable/unloveable... clearly my self-confidence was shot to ground... but I chatted with some guys, was upfront with them of my current status as not to keep leading them, and some of them were very understanding and was nice about it. They helped me find my confidence that I am a good and wonderful person, and smash the things my ex use to make me feel inside mentally.

4) If you have things to say to your ex, write it down on a blank word document, journal it, or talk to your reflection in the mirror as if you are talking to your ex. Embrace your feelings. They are natural human emotions. They are really sucky to feel, but the more you fight/bury it, the more you may become that angry person you never were. If you suddenly think about your ex, then think about that person, but remember how much happier you are since your self journey during no contact. I find that it takes more energy to be angry at someone, so I rather not let it take over me. I can be angry/bitter for a minute, but that's all. I let myself say some angry things, but I remember to say some nice things. I shared 2 years of my life with my ex. I may be bitter about the present him and his current status, bitter at what I have put up and gave him, but I reflect on what I learned about myself and give thanks for the good memories he gave me.

Wow sorry that's long. If you've read through it all, I say thank you! But that's the gist of my advice. Its all a self journey with a lot of 2 steps forward and many steps back. There will be a lot of moments where you want to make sense of things, have questions that won't be answered nor would you want to hear the answers to. Take each day in strides. Reach out to your support system. Rebuild yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally... and spiritually too. No contact, keeping busy, and going out with friends for a fun time when you're just having a down moment... go dancing, go grab a drink, go explore new foods... really helped me.