01/01/21 10:22pm
Currently coming off a mania mood swing and crashing pretty hard, I don’t feel like I’ve hit rock bottom yet and I feel like it could get worse.. chest is tight and tingly, nerves are shot, somewhat depressed, little SS tendencies, and very dreadful of what’s to come.. I cannot stop thinking about who I lost because they left me, I can’t stop thinking about what I lost as they left, I’m afraid to ask for help, I feel like i’m going to be sick, I can’t stop thinking about being stuck in my head forever, I can’t stop thinking about what’s to come..
Brody99,
I see you posted a few times. This was a bit ago so I really hope you’re well. I am away from my partner of eight years and my 2.5 year old boy. I was manic for a while and just broke up with her. So I caused all of our pain. It hurts, but we have to dig ourselves out of these mistakes. Its not always our fault, but we did it. If you have people who care about you, just be honest with them.
im happy to chat sometime if you like.
Thank you.. I’m trying my best right now and I feel like I’m not even enough for myself anymore.. I’m trying to figure myself out and be more aware of my triggers and handle them accordingly by logging my feelings and what I’m thinking at the time to get it all out.. They were the only person I had in my real life that cared and I messed up.. They don’t understand what it’s like to be bipolar and they called me needy and some awful things because of my mental issues which has just hurt me even more.. I don’t trust people to begin with but now I have nobody but myself here..
Sometimes it isn’t enough. Those are the worst times. It’s hard to build a community when things are going well. Even harder when we struggle. It sounds like you are taking some good steps. It can take a while to recognize triggers but knowing they happen is a great start.
I know you feel like you have no one. Perhaps your person will come back around. Perhaps not. You will meet new people. People will care about you. You won’t always feel the way you do now.
I hope you are able to consider this a small support. Sometimes you have to look pretty hard for support but it’s there. Do as many positive things as you can. Eat well, exercise, smile at someone. Whatever. Just start stacking positive things.
be well.