A Rant on Loosely Related Things

I was just watching an interesting video about "estrangement as a luxury" when I came to an interesting path of thought.

I recall hearing people complain about AI being too agreeable or too nice when someone, say, admits to doing something bad or has a terrible idea. (This is not a post about AI. Don't worry.)

I realize that antagonizing or demonizing someone who is being honest about their wrongdoings or their mistakes is a terrible idea. Attacking someone as soon as they feel safe enough to expose themselves, especially to an AI or a therapist, will only teach them to lie about it later.

If someone describes a desire to do something dumb (Example: running with scissors), discouragement is needed. An AI and a therapist are not the ones we should expect to be harsh about it, but even regular people must be careful not to accidentally push them into doing something harmful or dangerous.

If someone admits to doing something (Example: cheating), we can acknowledge the wrongdoing without scaring them back into hiding. Let them stay out in the open so they can learn and grow and change. Especially in spaces like 7Cups where it is easy to open up.

Doesn't mean we have to blindly agree with them. Not at all. But it doesn't hurt to at least try to understand why someone thinks the way they do and gently show them a better way.

We all have said and done things we shouldn't have. No one is perfect. I know I am far from perfect and I feel awful when I've done anything wrong.

I think, growing up, there were times I would double down on something I said or did. Of course, I shouldn't have. But I know why I did it, even if I don't remember the specific scenarios. I remember the feelings.

I think I doubled down because admitting my mistake or wrongdoing felt less safe than lying about it.

Why? Because in my family, I would be punished regardless of whether or not they could prove I did something. If I admitted I actually did do something wrong, it only encouraged them to punish me further without a second thought.

I think these things can be related somehow.