A place for my thoughts (and yours) as I cycle through life
I think I will use this spot as a brain dump when needed....I'm having a hard time navigating the forums. I'm not sure where to put things, don't know if there is a way to be notified if someone comments back on my threads but I'm sure I'm missing somebfood stuff, and when it tells me I'm tagged get lost trying to find it....I find I do better navigating the site from my laptop on the web than I do from the android app on the phone so most of my thought dumps will be from the computer, when I actually have time to log in amd type.... I also hate trying to type on my phone....I have the fat finger issue and a lot of times my words are wrong or spell check puts some crazy crap in there that I don't catch and it comes out as nonsense....anyway...if anyone else reads this and wants to be part of my brain dumps, feel free...I'm always open to, but don't always listen to advice, comments and constructive criticism....sooooo to anyone reading, welcome to my world....
Monday October 28, 2024
Friday, Saturday and Sunday were very productive days for me as far as catching up on chores and neglected things around the house....I'm hoping I can carry that over into this week and keep the momentum.....
Some things I want to accomplish this week.....
Keep up with the normal house hold and life daily chores.....
I bought my new planner....I want to start transitioning from digital calendars back to old school paper things....I will start to fill that out....
I am also
thinking of going back to paper for my headache tracker but not sure how
that will work based on the amount of time I have in the morning....I
just click things in the app right now....going back to an actual log
will mean having to write things out and my morning time before work is
slim....I don't want to get up any earlier than I have to.....I have to
think about that one....maybe try it for a day or two and see how the time frames line up....
Lastly, contemplate my sleep....I feel like I'm doing all the right things, preparation, etc etc etc that I read online for getting good sleep, but on work days, I just don't seem to sleep well at all....on days I'm not setting an alarm and can just wake at will, I seem to sleep fine through the night.....It must have something to do with my subconscious and work for sure...but pin pointing it down and finding a fix will be the challenge.....
@CyclingThroughLife Welcome to my world...am sitting on the throne nodding out right now. It's currently a few minutes before 3 p.m. 🙄
@CyclingThroughLife
a few weeks ago I was asking about those apps for monitoring those tasks. I researched them and looked at them I made a list of 10 or 12 different apps, check them out on YouTube finally decided on one downloaded it paid for it didn't like it but I was so gung ho I went with my second best.
They weren't very expensive for the year and so I paid for both of them because I didn't wanna try to learn how to use them with components of them missing because it wasn't the paid version.
They didn't workout well for me. One of them was similar to seven cups where they wanted to give you not advice but information and uplifting notifications and things that you should do to stay on the positive side of things and I didn't have time to read all that and just to learn them was very time consuming.
I'm back to pen and paper too.
@IsayUncle Sounds great...more fun than a room full of howler monkeys.
"uplifting notifications and things that you should do to stay on the positive side of things"
Ahh yes, the affirmations. 🙄 ....Christ on a pogo stick, those are annoying. I've rarely ever seen them work as advertised. When they do, they only work on simple-minded people who are easily influenced by whatever they're told.
I would like to thank the two of you for the continuing conversations, ideas, and all the things you have contributed to my place of thinking.....
Honestly, I feel kinda stuck in this little rut with a lot of the things I've been discussing here in this thread....No matter what I decide or say I'm gonna do, I start and something usually derails that idea, I get frustrated and really haven't changed much or anything at all....I have good intentions, I just can't seem to get them off the ground.....one thing I rarely mention here on 7cups, is that I am full of great ideas, advice, motivation for others but have a very difficult time putting those thoughts and ideas I share for others into action in my own life.....
anyway....thanks again and Happy November......
"I am full of great ideas, advice, motivation for others but have a very difficult time putting those thoughts and ideas I share for others into action in my own life..."
If it's any consolation, you are not alone. It seems to be a fairly common condition among thoughtful people with their own issues...in other words, people like us. I have listened to so many woe-is-me stories, more than I can recall (thank the FSM for that). I've given advice too many times, though every so often it was taken & followed. I have a knack for figuring out solutions to other people's problems...yet here I am in 7Cups-Land. An unknown artist with a useless B.A. degree, heading toward the big 5-0 in high gear. Maybe this is because it is easier to solve problems where we aren't personally involved, but I don't know for sure.
@CyclingThroughLife @slowsecline48
I for one appreciate your posts. Even when they talk of rough waters, they are honest and filled with determination.
They encourage me and so I should be thanking you.
I'm in the same exact boat in regards to having solutions for others but not managing myself. One of the biggest things that I have learn here on 7 cups and have grasped onto is to try to have empathy for others that can't figure out their solutions. I never ever did that before. I got frustrated with people that couldn't figure it out.
So now, I think it's OK to try to help people through hard times even if we can't get it right for ourselves.
Sometimes the best that we can do when we wake up is to "try" to hold our chin up high and walk strong and encourage others keep trying to do the same. We might not be able to keep up with our own standards but we can walk tall and we should because we do the best we can.
Have a happy and strong November!
Saturday November 9th 2024
This last week has been really rough for me. I'm not sure if its the time change or if the fact that I've completely given up caffeine after 8am, because by 3 or 4 pm, I'm completely wiped out. I've been doing an online class everyday after work. I start around 3pm ish after my workout, and by 3:30 or 4, I'm dozing off at the computer, fighting to stay awake. I actually fell asleep in my recliner 3 nights this week around 7pm while watching television with my girlfriend.....there are too many variables with the time change last weekend to determine if its just me not adjusting, if its not having the caffeine, or a little of both are.....what ever it is....it is really annoying and I need to figure out a way through this without napping and wasting an hour and a half to two hours of my precious time asleep each day after work....
With that said, my workouts and routine are slowly moving back to "my normal"....my routine isn't quite back to where it was, or where I'd like it to be, but its better than it was and I'm satisfied for now....
My online class is really getting tough....I know I will pass but the final but were I'm at right now with the information, I won't pass with the grade that I want....I need to study more.....I guess I could settle for passing is passing but that doesn't work for me.....
As for my job....status quo....trudging along....one day at a time....for now.....
@CyclingThroughLife the "wiped out" part is relatable...gonna feel that way myself in weeks & months to come.
@CyclingThroughLife
Other than the falling asleep and burning the candle at both ends, it sounds like you're rocking it!
You're probably right about the time changing and quitting caffeine at the same time. As much as it waste your time, it's good that your mind can rest enough that you go to sleep. That's pretty good.. sort of, kind of 😁.
Good luck with your grade.
Friday Nov 29 2024
Haven't been here in a while...haven't been on 7 cups n a couple weeks also...reason....I'm kinda stuck....I have a lot on my mind, things i want to say, but don't know how to get them out of my brain....I actually feel that if I say what I think and feel, the algorithm wouldn't post it...it would probably trigger a lot of people,..make a bunch mad....my thoughts right now arent safe for the safe space of 7cups....a lot of negativity and hate about a lot of things and a lot of peiple....terrible to be this way on Thanksgiving week but it's how I feel....so I won't go into details....I won't share...I dont know how to share in a way that is neutral and feel good for anyone that reads it......I'll just stay out of the forums until I can get past this....
@CyclingThroughLife
Heeey, Really sorry about the heavy load. I'm hearing your anguish along with being cornered with nowhere to shout it out. A hard place to be. Hang in there.
I've missed your posts and I guess I thought that you got yourself into a good groove or into a positive group where you didn't have time to come to 7 cups during the holidays. I was looking forward when you stopped in again but sad to hear it under these conditions.
BUT, it's still good to hear from you. Even though you think you can't express your deepest feelings, you do have the right and privilege to share some of them here.
I'm all ears friend. Only if you want to share, was there any one thing that started this downward spiral?
If you still need to find your own space for a bit, take all the time you need.
I totally understand but I know that you got people here that care about you, so...... If you're up to it.
@CyclingThroughLife Sounds rough as a corncob up the s*** chute...sorry. That might've been a bit too much like some of the people at work, eh?....
But seriously, that kind of venting is exactly what personal journals are for. If you're afraid of the suppression algorithm stopping your post then trust me, it's easy to fool. The algo here is actually pretty stupid. You can substitute numbers & characters for letters (C0v!d, h∆te, d1e, etc.) or just use creative spelling, as in "mutherphuker".
With intense emotions & serious problems, the worst option is to trap them inside yourself & try to keep the lid on as you go through daily life. They will find a way to express themselves...probably in a toxic way.
@slowdecline48
Very Well Said! Great options for screaming out loud.
I agree with slowd, (for what it's worth). Venting keeps us from exploding and this is your space for that.
@CyclingThroughLife
Thank you both for the comments and advice. I'm kinda in a place where, if I spew all the thoughts in my head, most negative, I'm not being helpful to those who may not need to hear them.....I don't want to drag anyone here down with me, if that makes sense. I will say that one thing, and this is only a small part of it, I'm really struggling with, is why bad things happen to certain people who don't deserve it, while other thrive in unlawfullness, hate, and uncaring selfishness....if that makes sense. ....I"m not talking about myself here. Something happened here about week or 10 days ago that put my mind in motion. Something bad happened to a good family that didn't deserve it. I know this is where a lot of folks bring in religion or the universe, etc, etc....but in all reality...whatever you believe, what ever the reason, it just sucks.....
I'll just leave it at that for now....give you something to ponder that I've been pondering....
@CyclingThroughLife Re your question:
- It does indeed suck. I thought the same thing after misfortune happened to me while a monster who only looked human (& his abused dumb wife) got away with their plot, as well as when I saw it play out while involving other people.
- Having asked it many years ago, after some contemplation, experience, much reading & talking to a few people (& more contemplation), I concluded that there is no ultimate answer to be found. The closest I've come to one is "s*** happens".
- Aside from that, there are proximate answers here & there. I found them unsatisfying but that's the way it is. One is "the laws of nature make no exception for nice people"...another way to put it is "the rain falls on the guilty & innocent alike." Sometimes it's not rain but a rockslide, tsunami or flash flood instead.
- Another proximate answer for why the wicked sometimes get away with it: because they can. Also because Lady Luck is random, & so doesn't care who she bestows her favor on. The one thing to remember is that no one is lucky forever...not even the smartest criminals can keep pulling the same stunt & get away clean every time, though they always believe they can.
I don't promise any satisfaction from reading the above list. It's just food for thought. Hope it helps.
@slowdecline48
After reading your reply, I have this strong feeling of Deja vu....I believe, at some point in the past, I made a thread or post like this, and, possibly got some answers/advice from you, maybe. And the reason I think I may have created a thread for this is that these feelings/funks/dark place that I get comes to me regularly....regularly is once every couple of months....
Anyway....what you say makes sense....its just something I need to work through as one of those "it is what it is" things in my life....
Thanks again....
Oh? Not that I recall...but then I have CRS, so I could just as easily said something similar earlier this year & forgot right afterward. 🤪
When such questions come up, all I can do is tell someone what I know. I don't have The Answer for you...I honestly don't believe anyone has it, no matter what someone else may claim.
@CyclingThroughLife
All I know is we cannot let the bad, sour the good inside of us, because if that happens, all is lost.
We must grieve for a length of time and then.... accept or absorb.... and then find the light again. Carrying the sadness as a badge of defience, while planting humble seeds of hope once again.
“Hurt leads to bitterness, bitterness to anger, travel too far that road and the way is lost.” Terry Brooks
8 December 2024
Haven't done a workout in a couple of weeks....I have some health issues (not an injury) that are making things hard for me to not only physically do my workout, but also invading my headspace....It really is true about the correlations between dopamine and working out.....I'm literally out of my mind because I am not able to get in my workouts.....then the extra stress with the medical portion of it.....
With that said, I'm trying to be more positive and grateful in my life.....I've been one who analyzes every situation and catastrophizes the outcomes my whole life....I've committed to working on this part of me as of late and while its really hard for me, I am finding good things in some situations....The good coming out of this situation.....I've replaced my workout time with working on my online class so I am farther ahead than I thought I would be at this point....
Hopefully things will get back to normal soon.....
@CyclingThroughLife
Sending good vibes my friend.
It sounds like everything is all mumbled and jumbled.
You, trying to focus on more positive thoughts is a very good first step. Push through it a little bit each day. Try not to lose ground and you can do it!
Doing one thing positive, like your online class is a smart move. Maybe everything else feels like it's falling apart but you know that you are still doing something in a positive direction. So I give you a lot of kudos for that. Good luck on your online class!
@CyclingThroughLife Going through that online class is a good idea...as the old saying goes, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
(I used to think it was "when life gives you lemons, throw them at somebody" but it ain't so easy these days. Phone cameras are everywhere!...)
Sunday 15 December 2024
Haven't been on 7 cups in about a week a due to some medical
issues......I won't go into details, but it has to do with being male
and the aging process.....I had a terrible weekend last week and did all
I could to make it through work Saturday and just laid around and
survived on Sunday. It should be noted that I've been having issue for
some time with this problem but this past weekend, I think it came to
the point where I was forced to see the dr, and the Drs were forced to
stop "monitoring" and actually do something about it..... Monday I saw
the doctor and was placed on a medication that I will probably be on for
some time("may refill 11 times" on a 30 day prescription didn't make me
feel all warm and fuzzy)....I spent the rest of the week taking it easy
and seeing how this new med made me feel since they all have a laundry
list of side effects....I've not been working out still, like my previous entry said....I need to see if riding the bike will aggravate my situation...last night we took a road trip to a Christmas light festival...it was a drive through light show (really nice and well worth the drive and trip) and it was about an hour and 15 min drive one way......so about a 3 hour round trip ride and I think sitting in the car for that long has aggravated my situation because I'm having some discomfort....anyway....I'm going to try to get more time on 7cups and post here and there.....
@CyclingThroughLife Well, d∆mn....
Am sorry to read/hear that, as much for us other middle-aged men on here as for you personally. Growing old is a b***h, yes indeed.
You don't need to provide details if you don't want to. I already guessed it.
If Mother Nature & Father Time had any decency at all, they would've made human bodies to function a decent amount of time within allotted lifespans instead of slowly going downhill, as every single one does.
Try to get back to your lifting sessions when you can. You need them psychologically as much as physically.
22 December 2024
I'm slowly making my way through my issues, physical, emotional, medical.....while I will have to come up with a new workout routine, mainly less cycling for the time being, I will be fine. I was reminded this morning that, despite my issues, I really do have a lot to be grateful for. While I go into the "why is this happening to me?" mode quite a bit, there are people out there who have it worse. Sometimes we get so tied up in our own things we forget.....I once was told that "just because someone has it worse than you do, doesn't negate or make your issues invalid".....while this is true, I can't but help to think that maybe sometimes I'm being petty.....So this Christmas, I will continue to try to be grateful for what I have.
@CyclingThroughLife
Thank You for the reminder..... I need to do the same. (Pretty tough for me as well). Be Well my friend and know you can adapt in a powerful and strong direction, because....... from past posts, that's who you are and that's what you do. You can do it in this situation too.... You can.
I'm really sorry for the hardship but thank you for the encouragement.
26 December 2024
Had a decent Christmas Eve and Christmas day.....
Now its time to think about moving forward.....I have so many things I want to change in life....Moving into the new year...I don't do "resolutions" so to speak...I want change....some will be small, that I will definitely get done and work on.....some will be large that, I'm sure I will eventually get done by working on small change first......some very large and life changing if all things align..... a few very hard decisions to make after some research and soul searching....its just a matter of if I have the nerve to take the leap or just let everything continue status quo and float along in my comfort zone....Comfort zones are strange things....they can be great during certain times of your life, offering mental, emotional and financial stability......but they can hold you back, keeping you from moving forward by giving you a false sense of security at times....the universe may be giving you all the signs of moving forward but your comfort zone is keeping you where you are....the hard part is knowing when the comfort zone is doing its job and keeping you grounded and well, or holding you back from your full potential.....I wish there was an easy way to tell, but with life being the way it is, there is no easy answer....
In the mean time, we just keep trying to move forward....one small step at a time, hoping we find the answers we need and find the path we are supposed to be on at this stage of our lives....
29 December 2024
The last couple days have been rough for me....I've been in a lot of pain.....I had a weather related migraine yesterday to add to it.....I spent a lot of time in the recliner doing nothing....This morning the pain has subsided some....I'm hoping by the time I go back to work on Tuesday I'm back to normal or at least a tolerable state....The pain, I'm positive, is from my recently diagnosed condition....I've had pain like this in the past....and the positive is that I finally have some sort of answers after being diagnosed... being an autoimmune disease, and after reading about the condition, it makes sense....it comes and goes.....flare ups so to speak....now I just need to find ways to manage it.....The doctor says stress pays a large part in this....its funny how our bodies work.....
This week, I have been struggling with
getting the proper amount and quality of sleep that I need...another possible reason for the flare up.....I have a
good idea why I'm struggling, but I don't really know how to get past
or over come this hurdle......I'm considering professional therapy again....I always consider it, yet I never actually go and do it.....maybe I make it a "New Years" thing to finally give it a try again....we will see.....
@CyclingThroughLife
Really sorry to all of that. 🙁.
I do hope your Tuesday gives you some relief.
Can you get any financial relief in regards of disability benefits? Not that it will help psychologically, emotionally or fighting through the pain but it's something that can help in the long run... just thinking out loud. 🤔
BTW, crossing threads here.... I did not make it back to respond to the other thread. But I did wanna tell you that, that's very impressive about the coffee. I drink way too much, definitely a pot a day. Half in the morning then the other half mid afternoon to try to keep me going along with one of those energy pills that has about 300 MGS of caffeine in them.
I was thinking that doctors give people antidepressants to calm down and make them sleepy and prescribe sleeping pills to get rest. I seriously wonder if they prescribe uppers. I've never did a lot of drugs (did my share tho 😬) or got hooked on any medications. I'm thinking about asking my doctor if she can hook me up with some uppers.... to reduce my depenency to caffiene.
Anyway Cycling, I hope you get to feeling better or at least, less so bad.
@IsayUncle Technically speaking, Ritalin is an "upper"...but normally it's only prescribed to kids with a diagnosis of ADHD. Or at least it was into the late 1990's or so. You could look into that. You could also try to taper off your caffeine intake. Start buying decaf & mix it into your regular coffee, a little more every month. I've been doing that since early November.
@slowdecline48
Thanks for the valuable insight. I've never been diagnosed with adhd but guarantee i absolutely suffer from it.. I'd hate to expose too much of that to the doctors. Personal freedoms, ie. gun rights. No big deal, but still, have to be wary
True...unfortunately, we can't trust our doctors the way we used to. The feds require doctors to spill their guts when given the order.
@CyclingThroughLife ISayUncle said most of what I would've otherwise said...no need to repost it all.
I'd fix your condition if I could. Unfortunately for the both of us, I don't have that kind of magic.
Re stress: It has been said that for particularly taxing stress & certain traumas early in life, "the body keeps score". As mind & body are linked, that is surely true. The years of being a correctional officer may well have contributed to your autoimmune condition.
Jan 2 2025
Happy New Year.....
This year, I am not making any specific "resolutions" so to speak....this year, I'm working toward change....real change....lately, I have been putting a lot of deep thought into what I want for my life....I haven't been truly happy with a couple of things in my life for some time now.....as you all know, my career being a big one.....so....after some deep thought and contemplation, I have decided that I need to start here:
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference"
Acceptance is the main goal here for me here.....As someone who catastrophizes and ruminates, I will start with acceptance phase of this....acceptance of the things that I cannot change.....I need to learn this and feel that I will be much happier over all if I do.....
@CyclingThroughLife
YES. i wish i could say more but i know you got this with thinking like that. if internet vibes could strenghthen your resolve, then i give you all i got this morning. Postive Vibes coming your way!
@CyclingThroughLife An excellent start to the year, I would say.
Monday 13 January 2025
Life is at a
status quo minus....just a tad below status quo but not really
bad.....I'm doing all my "get through life" things but that is about it....my workouts are
still lacking due to the medical things but it is what it is.....I have done a lot of online research....I think I can come up with a plan that works for me to stay active and get in my workouts, but I haven't really had the umph to get it going....in all reality, I think I'm stuck in a shallow rut....just in far enough to spin my wheels, not gain any traction, and not go anywhere, if that makes sense.....
Without going into details, I have something on the horizon that may be a huge change for the better in my employment situation. If it pans out I will share.....with that said, even knowing that things may change for the better with my employment, I am not feeling excited about it....just still blah....I think it has to do with this rut and spinning my wheels thing I spoke about earlier.....