A problem

I'm really spamming the site today jeez lol, typing this stuff is helping me figure out my thoughts tho, I look 30 and act 12 which is creepy. I'm not really being an adult but I could be. I'm being lazy and codependent. I need to grow up and be an adult. Be professional, speak clearly stop messing around and joking all the time. It's a lot of work but I need to be an adult because I feel like I'm a problem. Like people shouldn't be around me. Like I'm just a mistake that no one should have to experience and I don't know how to get rid of that so to protect people from me I should bemore serious. Lol now that I typed that out even that sounds childish. I really don't know. I don't know anymore lol maybe I'm just too used to everything being a crisis and now I think I'm the crisis lol god why can't I just exist lmao