Boyfriend Drama
My boyfriend wants to take a break to hang out with his friends. Is that worth taking a break over? Is it worth staying with him? Seems immature and unnecessary. If he wants to hang out with his friends we should be able to have a conversation and work things out. Seems if that if hanging out with his friends is so important you’d take a break with your girlfriend over, I don’t think you’re ready to be in a real relationship.
I disagree~ everyone needs space and I think he's being very honest by tlaking to you directly about his needs. I actually think you are the immature one who doesn't seem to respect other people's boundaries. Even couples can have their own lives, and it's only normal that people in a relationship will keeps that agency over their own lives. If I were you, I will propose that you join their hangout instead of trying to shame him into not seeing his friends, because he absolutely has the right to maintain his own friendships.
If he disagree with that proposition though, I think you should ask why and talk about it more openly. Did he feel that the relationship is getting suffocating and he just needs more me-time? Or did he actually want to use this tas an excuse to execute a slow break-up with you? I think it's healthy if you can talk about it together and encourage him to, instead of shutting him down by words.
We have talked about him seeing his friends and I agreed with him that he should and that I would go with him sometimes. Since then he has tried to hang with them every day so I said something to him about it being too much and he didn’t like it. It seems he is trying to go back to how things were before we started dating and wants to live two separate lives but be considered a couple.
Did you communicate with him like you did here? If so, maybe you can try agreeing with him that he should spend at least say, 3 days together? Will that work for the both of you?
I tried to compromise like that and he agreed for a week and then decided again that he didn’t want to be told that he couldn’t hang out with his friends when he wants. So his solution was to take a break so he could do what he wants without me saying anything (literally what he told me). I’m 33 and trying to build a life with someone and I feel like he’s still just trying to live the college life and I’m in the way of it.
