Confession
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I sometimes resent my family for keeping me alive.
Can someone please just be proud of me?? Imtrying.
Music,
I am so proud of you. I know how difficult the daily grind can be and whatever progress you're making is progress nonetheless. Do not be so hard on yourself. <3
Hey I wanted to say I'm so proud of you for making it through today :) great job, I knew you could do it :D
I'm so proud of you, good job for everything you've done today!
I want to cut my throat with a razor, seriously I'm so obsessed with this movie "Sweeney Todd" and I really want to do it
Martha,
It sounds like you might be experiencing a trigger sensation from this film. Sometimes movies can cause preoccupations and disturbing thoughts. I hope you are feeling more stable since this post.
Please reach out to a hospital, they can setYou up with some Supports so you don'thave to get to this point. They hAvedone for me and now I am suicide free.
So u have never told anyone about this and in fact I've never even written this down or anything before but I was sexually assaulted by a relative when I was around 12 years old and i can't count the number of times I considered telling my dad but was afraid he wouldn't believe me or that everyone would hate me or that he would be hurt. The guy is dead now but honestly hearing people quote him or talk about how great he was makes me sick. For a long time I was ashamed of myself for what happened but at this point it happened so long ago and he's dead and I can't bring myself to tell my dad because all I would be doing is hurting him and it's not like he can change anything at this point. So yeah I just kept my mouth shut.
I meant 'I' sorry! Also I can't believe I actually posted this! I can't even explain how long I've wanted to just write it out but was too scared!!
@tealCamp2199
Thank you so much for sharing. I know that must have been difficult for you, but it does feel good to lift the weight. Please know you are always safe here. I want you to know that I went through this as well. I was molested three times over the course of a year when I was 15 by a close family-friend. When I e-mailed my dad in the middle of the night to tell him, the house phone rang no longer than five minutes later and all hell broke lose. Eventually the dust did settle but it certainly impacted my relationship with that side of the family, as well as my father. My father never spoke to me directly and continued on like it never happened by mentioning him casually in conversation, handing me the phone when he called, etc. This crushed me more than the event itself. My heart goes out to you. Of course your situation is your own and I would never aim to compare, but I want you to know you are never alone. I am sorry the person who did this to you has passed away. I am sure that has caused emotional upheaval on its own. I understand not wanting to cause harm to your family, but you are harming yourself by walking around with this on your heart. I hope that you will feel welcome to share more here. Primarily if this is the only place you feel you can talk about these things. No one deserves to sit along with their hurt. Please PM me anytime. <3
I'm in love with my boss, he is such a sympatheticguy, wise, cute, optimistic, and great problemsolver. I wish I could play with him but He is loyal to his wife, which he should be. It's driving me nutsthat I can't havehim. It annoysme that he is well aware of how much I like him and knowsI am fighting the urge to do anything with him.
@reservedexcitement
Falling in love or infatuation with an unavailable person is one of the most painful events this life can bring. I hope you have been able to find some peace and joy out of the friendship that can certainly exist there despite your wanting more. I think it is mighty big of you to be so honest and no meddle in his marriage. Kudos.
I understand moments like those, I had the same thoughts at one point. Thinking it was selfish of them to keep me alive whenthey dont feel this pain that i feel, or the intensity of the emotion. In moments like these, I like to think of what people have said about me that makes them think I am valuable. You are valuable and that's why they want you here. Think about it, they see something in you of value. I'm sure others also see it, like friends and professor or co-workers.
I'm so afraid of getting hurt that I tend to drive people away. But I hate being alone, so I talk to everyone. When I feel they are getting too close to me, I keep my distance from them. I want to stop, but it's really difficult.
@Thousand Sunny Days
I struggle with similar problems.
Bc i feel like i helped someone
Every night i feeling like having lots of sleeping pills... So that i wont wake up in the morning... Then something stops me.. A thought... suicide means end of life... Everything over.. No lights.. No colour.. No music.. No travelling.. No birthdays.. No new years.. Nothing.. Just blackout... I dont know who will win.. My desire of death or my thirst for life..
I feel that way. I try to speak to my father about my suicidal thoughts and his response is, "Imagine what that would do to us, if you killed yourself." And I think, what about this pain I'm feeling?
@azureShip3705
yes I understand your feelings...but you need to replace your negative thoughts with positive ones....
I told my friend that it's okay if she moves away. That we still have ways to contact each other and we will still be friends. But that is a lie. When she moves, we will probably talk at first, but it will slowly fade out. None of my friendships have ever made it past one of us moving. I'm honestly scared to death of her leaving, as she is my only friend. I know she needs to do this, so I'm trying to be accepting. But how do I live my life without any friends?
Teen, relationships take two. If you put in the work it will last. That is, meaningful correspondence, phone calls, letters, gift giving etc. Do not lose sight of the fact that you deserve to be reciprocated as well. Sometimes losing a friend is even more painful than losing a love interest. My heart goes out to you. ♡
I know. I've tried to do this before, but it never works. They always stop talking to me and block me on all my social media accounts.
