Confession
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I sometimes resent my family for keeping me alive.
I am a recovering sex and love addict
I asked someone for advice, but later realized it wasn't the advice I wanted but rather their attention
I allowed myself to be the object of a group sex encounter
Im feeding my depression with healthy meals of sadness. At some point of life, i think having depression is not that bad. I mean it is the only thing that has stuck with me through thick and thin when everyone else just leaves me one by one. I think i shouldnt betray depression and let it be.
@jeslyn .. hey dnt loose hope. You might be going through some hard stuff. But everything gonna be okay. Try to see positive side of things. Make a choice to be happy. Whenever you feel u dnt hv anybody .. just close your eyes and say u can get through this, you are strong.
@jeslyn I know how you feel. Even now that I am no longer struggling with depression on a daily basis, I sometimes miss it. Somethng about it feels safe, familiar. But it's a lie. Jeslyn, your depression is like a bad friend who manipulates you. It will use you, and make you feel like shit about yourself, and then convince you that you deserve it, and that you would be nothing without depression. It's like being in an abusive relationship. You have to let depression go, no matter how much you want to cling to it. You have to believe that you deserve better than depression, that you deserve to be happy. Jeslyn, I don't know you, but I have felt what you are feeling. And I can say with certainty, that you deserve better than that deep sadness that leaks out in tears at night when you can't sleep, when you feel so alone. Reach out. We are here for you. Happiness is possible.
I want to meet someone through online wether it be a site or gaming just because you get to meet the person before you meet the face so it cancels out my anxiety to a degree but scared to say anything
@limePal1448 i relate to you in such a spiritual level
@midnightcreature its reassuring to know im not the only one out there, just wish I could find the person ive been looking for I guess wold be the word
Im ready to die
@Portalkitty We here at 7 cups of tea care about you. We want to help you, to support you, to make you feel like there is hope, that you can be happy. Reach out. Keep reaching out. Tell people how you feel, and they will do everything they can to help you. If you are in school, I encourage you to utilize the counseling available there. Even if the counselor there is not the right fit for you, they can refer you to other resources that might be. If you are already in therapy or seeing a psychiatrist, be explicit about your thoughts of death. People need to know what is going on in your head in order to help you. I know it can be really difficult to talk about, even with people whose job it is to listen. I've been there. I didn't tell anyone about my thoughts of suicide until I was dangerously close to attempting, and then it was an emergency, and my life was falling apart.. However, I did reach out. I found help, and I got better. I no longer want to die. I feel like there is something about life that makes it worth living. Thats all it takes, just something.
@defygravityXD
I overdosed on january the 3rd and wound up in hospital im starting to get the help that i need. im doing my best to keep going, i dont want to hurt my parents like that ever again
I am sorry that you feel like this.
I know this is not ideal and this is bad but i...
I.. have planned my death and just waiting for a time to execute it. How glad would people be to care less of a person. How beautiful would the world be without a negative nelly. They dont need to deal with ny bullshit at the same time nothing changes.
@jeslyn I feel the same way now. Don't give up. Things always get better!
@Kromi really? Its been 10 years. And today i was told that i definately dont have depression. And whatever im feeling is just probably curiousity. The counselor didnt bother to listen to my story. He didnt ask why do i think this way. He didnt bother to know why i think what i think.i was straight away told that i am just curious so i self condition myself to feel this way. So all my sadness, pain, and suicidal thoughts and self harm are all curiosity. How fun.
@jeslyn
I'm all for listening to professionals but I like to live my life with one huge motto, a motto that 7cups also feels. You know yourself better than anyone else. Okay, so someone is telling you that you don't have depression, alright. Does that mean there isn't another problem going on? Or that you don't deserve to find out what it is? You're struggling with something and you deserve help and compassion. I sympathize with your frustration because it sounds like you've been battling this for awhile, and then for someone to boil it down to simple "curiosity" must be awfully hurtful and demoralizing. From the limited information you gave on your counselor, I'd bet money that you need a second opinion. I know you want to give up, but imagine if you just waited a little bit longer and found someone who can actually diagnose what's going on. Isn't that what you want? I believe there's an answer out there but if you quit now, you won't find it. You'll just end up being a statistic and I don't want that to happen to you. You deserve to find out what's wrong and get proper treatment for it. You deserve to feel happy again and at peace.
There is hope, there is always hope...even when we don't feel it.
If it means anything, I believe you and I believe your problems are more than just sheer curiosity. I really do.
I hope my post helps gives you the motivation to continue.
Take care, friend. 
@TrueArrow
Thank you. Logically i know i have to continue on and i probably will. But the longer this thing drags the clearer my concience are about how i want things to be. Sometimes its not what you know but what you feel takes over. And it could reach to a point where my heart just gives in. I know youre just being positive and im glad there are people like you but i hope theres more physically out there.
I don't really know what I want to do in my life and in order to avoid making giant decisions I try my best to do everything instead. But now that I can't do everything and have to choose-I just want to be inside my bed and never come out
@FantasiaSweetShock I hear you and struggle with the same thing. Here's a few things people said to me, that have helped me at times:
There is always a way out; if you made a bad decision you can undo it, or go around it, or decide you want to do the other thing. Nothing is ever permanent
Whatever happens isn't the end of the world, whatever you are focusing on won't bring you the perfection you are looking for. eg if I get this I'll be happy or less stressed, etc. Everything is a mixed bag of good AND bad. So, enjoy the good parts and see if you can tolerate the bad.
I feel sometimes that I want to find people that are just as messed up as me to make myself feel better.