Confession

My grandmother died sad and alone in a retirement home. I hate myself for that, although I was 10 years old at that time.

The reason I support my younger brother so much is because no one supported me when my mother died, I was left alone. They were all busy taking care of themselves and didn't notice that I was 9 years old and that I needed my mother.

I hate it when people compliment my intelligence, I sometimes doubt there's anything more about me.

I take drugs when i'm feeling down even though I know they dont help

I've tried to kill myself....

Anxiety and depression won't go away if I hide them, I wish they understood that asking me to hide them is not a way of supporting me.

Three of the people I know are dealing with self-harm, depression, and starving themselves. I know about it, yet they don't know that I know more than they think I do. I know one of them has abusive parents, one of them is pansexual, and the last one has a mother who is on the other side of the country. They don't trust me enough to tell me, and they don't know that I also deal with self-harm, depression, loneliness, unsupportive parents, etc. My family moves around too much for me to keep friends and for the ones that I still want to keep in touch with me always scare me too much for me to respond back to them. I really want to tell an old friend about how I feel but I'm too nervous and scared. My mom can't seem to stop bringing up bad topics that make me hurt myself. My dad keeps so much to himself and I really want to talk to him more but I'm also too scared because most of the time that he is home he is doing tobacco.

Three of the people I know are dealing with self-harm, depression, and starving themselves. I know about it, yet they don't know that I know more than they think I do. I know one of them has abusive parents, one of them is pansexual, and the last one has a mother who is on the other side of the country. They don't trust me enough to tell me, and they don't know that I also deal with self-harm, depression, loneliness, unsupportive parents, etc. My family moves around too much for me to keep friends and for the ones that I still want to keep in touch with me always scare me too much for me to respond back to them. I really want to tell an old friend about how I feel but I'm too nervous and scared. My mom can't seem to stop bringing up bad topics that make me hurt myself. My dad keeps so much to himself and I really want to talk to him more but I'm also too scared because most of the time that he is home he is doing tobacco.

I think my depression is coming back, but even worse. I've tried just about every medication there is, and nothing seems to be helping. The lady at the hospital said that I don't really have depression, and that I'm making everything up. I'm scared that it might be true.

((sorry, for all the posts. I try to get everything out on here so I wont do anything stupid.))

Most of the time there are so many thoughts and emotions and going through my head, and I don't know which ones are real. Everyone also says that I'm making that up. I just don't know anymore.