Confession
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I sometimes resent my family for keeping me alive.
I feel like I don't deserve to be happy. That feeling joy or me wanting something, anything, is selfish and greedy. That I have no right to want anything. That I should be grateful that I'm even alive.
You got to put yourself first its not selfish its just life if you love you then others will Too.....i dont know u but i love you
When I was 13, my bf moslested me. Every day I have feared for my life. Afraid that it'll happen again.
Just know you'll never go through something that you're not strong enough to handle
I'm a compulsive liar and I'm very very good at it. I told friends in elementary school that I had a brother and when one of them recently reached out to me and asked how my family (including said fictional brother) was, i had to come clean.
Sex has always been physically and emotionally painful for ne but i love letting guys take advantage of me ..why?
Have you ever been abused?
Sorry! That was really insensitive. What about sex makes you emotional? And define, being taken advantage of.
Ive never been abused but i have had sex with men older then me an i mean taking advantage of by like when i say no and a guy persists i give up and i allow whatever is happening to happen i let my cousin have sex with me three times in one day when i was 16 i went to an abandoned house and let two hove my friends have sex with me the leave me there like i was nothing i offer sex knowing i dont want it hoping it will make someone love me
Sex scares me i dont know why it make me emotional but i remember once i let a guy stick his hands in my vagina and that was the first time something like that happen to me i was like 15 and i literally started crying and he asked whats wrong and i just said that it hhurt even though it really didn't
When I was a little girl (i think 6 years old), I watched a 13yo guy with a 8yo girl having sex... and they were brothers. So thay was kinda traumatic, you know? In that time, I didn't knew... So, the guy looked at me while he was having sex and he said to me: "Do you wanna try?" and I said "No".
Used to talk to guys online because i loved the attention it made mefeel good about.myelf ... my reality sucked sool bad
Never give up...
My life is going to shit and I lack the motivation to do anything about it. I am quite certain I have a serious disorder that may prevent me from having children on the future, but I don't want to tell anyone because I don't want kids. In my family, that's just unheard of. Women are meant to get married and have a family, so I figure this way, no one will be able to pressure me into having a child I do not want.
I feel worthless. Always have. I'm a Christian but I sin so much and I think I'm just trapped in God's wrath as he gets me back for it all. Just lost my job, only son was murdered last year, I don't even have the energy to type this. I hate cute feel better clichés. They only make it worse. Happy thoughts don't help. So I lay up at night & think of dying. It's the only thing that gives me peace. I hope Jesus doesn't hate me for it. I'm praying for us all. Acts 20 : 24
I often feel worthless too. Cliches don't help. I like reading romans ch8 though. It reminds me that we are justified by the blood of Jesus so we don't have to fear God's wrath. That makes me feel better.
sometimes i dont want to get better
I know exactly what you mean, when I feel better I spend all my time worrying about how long it'll last before I hit rock bottom again.
