I am verbally abused by my ex girlfriend. I am so un happy i hate my self for letting her continue to hurt me. Sometimes she says she is sorry this time she never bothered too. I cry my self to sleep wondering why....why do i let her hurt me....why dont i walk away. ......i never make a move to to change the out come..i let my life be like this....like i deserve this punishment. This is my deep dark secret i just let it out in the universe. ......in hopes of being strong and making a change. Thank you for reading my post.

To those who know me in person, they think I'm the happiest person alive. I've always been the clown among the group. I'm always out laughing and smiling but as soon as I'm by myself I sink into this pit of depression that I don't know how to get out of. When I'm with people I'm able to put on a mask but I can't hide from myself and it kind of scares me.

The only reason I haven't killed myself is because I could never put my girlfriend through the pain of losing me.

I'm adopted. I think I'm in love with my half sister. Who I never knew existed until I found my brthmother

I do not get along anything right with my parents, I do not want them , I don t have a happy life from them that all they want is to have me locked up without leave or let anyone come, I hate them ,i really hate them,they do not undestand me not even I could think that that people like that could be my parents, sure I know I have my problems with not strive to improve everything but I've tried, I just can not, it's not my thing, really I sometimes think i am diferent than others, my personality is difficult but I guess I can be a good person with someone who can understand me and be good to me

The other night the guy I almost had a relationship with 8 months ago but got back with his ex-girlfriend kissed me. Part of me feels really guilty because they are still together but the other part of me is so happy because he honestly helped me through so much especially with my self harm and he means a lot to me. My emotions are bouncing.

I feel like everything I say is a lie. Yet I know in that old, painfully strong way that when they were said, they (or most) were not. And for all the time and courage it took to ponder and merely consider saying said things, they were truth. Then the moment of utterance barely passes and already the facts twist unto themselves.

And If I could just think of myself less, I could get rid of this tiresome reflex of forever playing the blame game first. I wish, really wish, I could be what I proclaim if not what I preach. I wish, really wish I could hold onto the meaning of the words I mean, recognise and or realise.I wish I had a reason for liking myself other than a what if. I wish I was not as shallow in liking to remember people for more than the reason of: They are not me.

I have nightmares of loved ones dying and I am loosing sleep over it. What's wrong with me?!

I'm broken. after my last abusive 1 year relationship, I can't be with anyone else. I'm too afraid. I'm too afraid to let myself fall.

what would happen? I'd get hurt and I can't let that happen, so I cut the people who care about me, I cut them off. and they hate me because they don't understand.

2013, Sep 22 was the day I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years had committed suicide, not shortly after her younger sister followed. It has been 2 long years since but i still can't seem to get the fact that i could have done something to stop both of them out of my head. I never really tell people about this unless they are extremely close friends of mine (not even my parents know), and i have just recently moved to a new school and am not in contact with anyone from my old school. I don't know what to do and I am scared that this time around, I will have a breakdown in class and everyone will find out, including my father.