Confession
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I sometimes resent my family for keeping me alive.
I purposefully leave my ID at home so I won't be able to buy alcohol to drown my feelings in. Every time I go to the store I look at it and think about how nice it would be to just be drunk and not have to think about anything. I don't want to do it but I can't help feeling that it could take the edge off and make me forget for a while.
@discreetAcres6234
What a great idea! I'm so glad you're taking the steps necessary to set yourself on the road to recovery. Alcohol isn't your friend, we are. Don't hesitate to seek help, this is going to be a hard road but you're already doing wonders.
@MidniteAngel thank you :) this website really has been a huge help for me and I do feel as if I'm making some sort of progress. I'm working hard to control my destructive impulses so I won't slip and fall onto the wrong path, I can't afford to do that
@discreetAcres6234 Congratulations on being proactive. You recognized that you would encounter a temptation and prevented yourself from being able to give in by leaving your ID at home. That is such a great idea. I am currently under the legal drinking age in my country but I have had my share of alcohol already, and I am a little worried that I might start abusing it once I am able to freely buy it. You have given me a good strategy to use if I ever find myself tempted. Rock on.
I'm bisexual and I have finally admitted it to myself after being confused for such a long time. And I'm so happy! I wish I could tell my family though.
@AnonymousFriend10
What a huge step! Understand that no matter what happens we will always be here for you. To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. You are beautiful black, white, gay, straight, bisexual. Whether you are smart, or quiet or impossibly in love with your best friend, somebody out there cherishes your smile, their head turns, and they get butterflies the minute you walk into a room. Somebody out there can't stop thinking about you. You are beautiful. Don't ever believe differently.
@MidniteAngel thank you very much for the support, I appreciate it and can't thank you enough. It something I've been confused about but to finally know who I am is the greatest feeling, I accept myself and I do hope I'm accepted by others but you are right and thank you. I'm very much in love with my best friend I get butterflies in my stomach and she's the reason I finally know who I am.
Today I ate a large mcdonalds meal and was able to finish it all. I don't remember the last time I was able to eat such a large meal without feeling full after a few bites or feeling very sick afterwards. I still remember that satisfied feeling of finishing it all
@discreetAcres6234
What a huge achievement!! I'm so happy for you, it just really shows how far you've come. You're improving so much and I'm so proud of you. This is a big step in the right direction.
I feel like I post a lot of things here lately. I guess I have things that I need to get off my chest and can't find a better place to put them.
I hurt myself.. I shouldn't have done it but I just wanted to feel what I deserve. I wanted to feel the pain.
I have failed myself and my friends by doing this. And the worst part is that I don't want to stop.
@discreetAcres6234
Don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself some credit. The you from the past wanted the progress the you of the present has achieved, mistakes do not mean failure. Never lose sight of what's important. Put your hand over your chest, feel that? It's called a purpose. You are here today because you are going to influence this world. Truly the world would not be what it is without you, nor will the future. Never give in and never give up. Your skin isn't paper don't cut it. Your face isn't a mask don't hide it. Your size isn't a book don't judge it. Your life isn't a film don't end it. You are beautiful, and you're just going to have to deal with that truth.
@MidniteAngel this just made me cry harder. If only it was all so simple and easy
@discreetAcres6234
It will never be so simple or easy - but that doesn't mean it isn't worth it. The expert has failed more than the beginner has attempted. You're going to get far in life, you just have to be determined and persistent.
@discreetAcres6234
Hey you haven't failed anyone.. hurting yourself is not always in our control. I am glad you have this site to hep you through this. When we hurt ourselves this way, it is to release the pain.. it is all going to be okay. Hang in there, don't be so hard on yourself.
@Kayleethereforyou Thank you for the kind words. I'm really thankful for this site, it gives me a place to unburden myself and find others like me. I haven't hurt myself since then. I still think about it though. I wish I could stop thinking about it but I can't seem to make that happen. I'm trying not to be so hard on myself, I don't want to hate myself like this anymore, I want to be kind to myself. Unfortunately, it's easier said than done
I feel like I should just stop talking to people outside of school cause they most likely all hate me..*forces laughter* but seriously though..they say I'm important to them.. That no one can fill my shoes..so to speak..but I just don't think I have any importance..and I can't actually tell them any of that cause I am not prepared for what they'll say..
@lovingPine3496
Stop measuring your value on someone else's inability to see it. Why be someone else when you can be you? You're one of a kind, irreplaceable, and impossible to replicate. Do you know what that means? You're priceless. No amount of gold or money can ever match you, because no one on the planet's history or future will be just like you. So stop hating your beautiful amazing perfections and imperfections because without those quirks you wouldn't be you. Be confident and love who you are. Smile. It will draw people in. If anyone hates you because you're happy - screw them. Because your happiness will not depend on others anymore.
WARNING: may disturb some
Sometimes i feel like laying down in the middle of the road until im happy or dead (which ever comes first).
nobody knows this but even though my biological father is abusive, on drugs, a rapist, a criminal, a thief, a liar, and rotting in prison, i still love him and i hate myself for it.
knocking/ringing doorbells scare me
i have been self harming without anyone ever knowing for 3 years
the reason i hate being called skinny is because i know the only reason i am is because i stare myself
i hate my neck being touched only because it reminds me of when i failed at hanging myself
I have exactly 3 more secrets, but i won't share them, not even anonymously on a site that was made to get rid of stress and to help.
@selfconfidentFarm9318
You don't have to tell me what's wrong or talk to me. You don't have to tell me today, tomorrow or next week. But know that I will always be here waiting for you, and I will always support you no matter what. You deserve happiness, and you deserve so much more than this. And I won't let an amazing person like you slip between the cracks. It won't get better today, it may not get better next month, but it will get better. And I will be there with you every step of the way. Make today the day you change for the better. Because darling you deserve so much better than this. Remember that you are loved and treasured, and don't ever forget how amazing you truly are.
@selfconfidentFarm9318
Thank you for sharing.. you are so brave for doing so.. </3 I am so sorry you have been through so much.
I constantly feel like I deserve everything that happened to me, every bad thing, every second of suffering. I even punish myself for my bad decisions...maybe if I wasn't such an idiot thing could be better.
@Lambert
You didn't deserve the things you have struggled through, but they have shaped you into the person you are today. You are stronger than you believe.
I want to paint rude words about the weak nature of is manhood all over the neighborhood. I'm not going to, but it makes me feel better just to imagine it.
i can think of 100 ways i could be vengeful. Everyone makes me laugh.
I don't want to feed my hate or dwell on my pain. It just relieves a little of it to think about how mortified he would be.
@fairmindedBalloon6827
Is it okay to not get over someone? Because I'd rather be hurt than having to forget anything about her.
@chiuchiu
I don't think it is okay to dwell over someone forever. I mean I am currently going through a very tough and emotionally draining break up myself and don't feel myself getting any happier being without my significant other as the weeks go by. But talking with friends has really helped me realize that the break up happened for a reason and regardless of how I feel now, there is so many new people and new opportunities to be had. I made the mistake of trying to get rid of all memories of my ex and it hurt more than holding onto the good times we had. Don't lose the happy memories you have of the relationship, hold onto them because you have learned a lesson from them and they will help you become a better person in the long run.
After all these years I still can't get over the fact that my mother told me that she was disappointed when I was born. Her and my father really wanted a boy.
@willingDime7346
i was also told that my father wouldn't come see me after I was born because I was the wrong gender. What an awful thing to do and what a poor choice for my mother to tell me.
Sorry it happened to you too. It's complete crap. But you were not put on this earth to satisfy anyone, including your parents. Don't be like me where I've held on to that kind of thing for years. Learn to let it go. You were made exactly as you should of been.