Confession

I feel lonely because my friend isn't here for me, an hasnt been for more than a week. And she's my only friend

I miss this guy so much, wish I could follow him around all day long but I no longer am working in that region anymore and just want to cry.it would be quite inappropriate to tell him how awesome he is.

I'm always afraid to say something stupid (which obviously I do since I seem to scare everyone away).

I don't know what is wrong with me in terms of mental health. I pretend to be normal and okay but it is tiring.

I pretended to turn the state of my mental health completely around in order to get out of group DBT therapy sessions.

I still love my ex even if she abused me.

I self harm and have depression and anxiety. I was molested and i think i was sexually abused for 3 years but idk if it would be considered that. I have had eating disorders too.

I want someone to tell me that...

When I think I've made a social error, when I think I've said or done something wrong, it's cute, and there's no reason for me to think it over again and again, wondering if I could have said or done something differently, wondering if my friends are going to stay my friends or if they're just going to get bored or annoyed and... leave...

When I make facial expressions, they're not ugly, they're not wrong, that they're not weird, and that it's ok that I learn facial expressions and body language and intonations and inflections by descriptions from books and movies and teachers for oral (speaking) exams.

When I need to leave in the middle of a social event, or can't have 6 consecutive days of social events, it's ok.

I just want someone who knows and accepts me for who I am, not what I can express.

And to everyone out there like me, whether you have social anxiety, asperger's, dissociation, any other thing, or, like me, just someone with really low EQ, just know that I will try my very best to be that person for you if ever you need support and happen to go into LGBTQ+ or General Discussion room, because anyways, over here facial expressions, intonations, inflections, body language, they're not here. :)

And I guess I'm really just confessing that I'm a lot more insecure than I say I am.

I just really want someone to listen to me. Everyone one around me blows me off and completely ignores me while I'm talking. I hate to be so whinney but I can't stand it anymore. I always try to talk to everyone and ask how they are doing but it seems like nobody cares enough about me to ask how I am. I'm not Okay, I'm hurting and Lonely. I just want somebody to listen to me. Please.

I was in the fourth grade and I was planning on hanging myself. My older sister ended up commiting suicide on Valentine's day, but in a way saved me. Seeing my dad torn up (she was his daughter and not my mother's) I didn't want to do that to anyone.