Couple stupid things today..
Couple things today... Last week, I visited my friends for the night and we all dressed up and hung out. I felt out of place already bc I barely see them anymore and they're friend group is growing and idk everyone anymore. Anyway... For whatever reason, we got to the topic of them expressing their admiration for me. But it was totally one sided and I honestly felt so uncomfortable. Ig i don't feel like I deserve anyone's praise? But I had to stand there and accept it and it made me feel sick. I felt kind of fake? I don't know themthat well. They don't know me. It felt weird and I couldn't believe the things they were saying and it ended up making me feel upset which im sure wasnt their intention.
Today, I accidentally annoyed my brother. I was plaguing around and I kept accidentally hitting a sore spot on his arm until he snapped and yelled at me. It really made me feel awful. I don't mean to harm anyone. I just want to relate and have fun. Mayb I'm too sensitive but it reminded me that I'm truly a burden to everyone I interact with. I wish I could stop myself from being myself but I just can't seem to filter my words or behaviors. It's so unbelievable frustrating bc I want to just make people happy abd have a good time but instead I feel like I do the opposite and I regret everything I do.
@diplomaticAvocado1390
It can be really hard to accept praise especially from people who don't know you that well. I would feel the same way honestly.
But don't beat yourself up for bumping your brother by accident, you were not doing it on purpose. You sound super caring and thoughtful. Be kind to yourself too though because you are worthy and enough.