Feb. thoughts
Ok today is the 2nd day, not too bad, I am ok, nothing has been resolved, he still is ignoring me, comes and goes as he pleases, the one day I am not home, doesn't do all care more the woman, I am trying to realize I am going to just keep my distance emotionally, I am one who forgives easily but when someone doesn't ask for forgiveness, I am setting myself to be mistreated yet again, I refuse to be mean, I won't let another's behavior affect or change mine. I think I am making a tiny bit of progress, I cried a bit yesterday, because in front of my kids, he said how I think is a**inine, and that I was too lazy to do something, and I make excuses. My daughter came in and sat down next to me and said I am sorry that Dad is mean to you. 😢 that broke my heart, my kiddos should not haveto be involved in that. I guess they are being affected by their fathers behavior too.
He is off and only thing he cares about is sex. I am tired of waiting on this older woman, she has me waiting on her all day, since he isn't working, ,he thinks with the kids still up and older woman , that he can just Closethe door, I know what he wants and it's not to be loving, just an act to take care of himself, I hate that feeling of being used! I thought this time was different, I know it isn't love, most time he won't talk to me or acknowledge I exist, I am feeling like when I was a young teen, and something happened that I can't forget, it feels familiar, I can't think straight and I don't know what to do or say, but I am not about having sex, it's so infrequent that I think he could also be with someone else, he seems to leave earlier for work and work alot of OT, I am not sure I trust,