First Entry - why I’m here.

I have been suffering depression and anxiety for years. I started getting things under control last year when I joined Talkspace. My insurance expired but I thought I can continue what we started alone. That worked for a little while. Then my 3 grandkids had to move in with us because their mom became homeless and moving from house to house. No one wanted all 5 of her kids living with them. I love them dearly but my oldest is undiagnosed adhd and will not listen and the other 2 of course starting to act like him. My son lives here too so he is helping too. I cannot get out of my grandson’s view or he goes into a panic so the only time I get time away to myself is work. Their behavior is causing me anxiety attacks where I end up running out of the room or house crying. My medication I’ve been on is not working. I switched from xanax because my mom was addicted and killed herself by overdosing on them. I caught myself starting to use them like her and got scared so I had my dr switch to something else. Don’t like it cause it doesn’t work as well. My grandkids mother is worthless. Doesn’t care about her kids. She was watching them at my house while we all worked during the day and my house was in shambles when I got home. She would sleep and kids got into everything. They fed themselves anything they could find in fridge or counter. Luckily it was fruit. They destroyed my betta fish tank twice by dumping 2 container s of food in it. We found a cup in the sink with the bottom full of pills. Luckily they were beano pills but not the point. Almost everything has been moved to my bedroom to keep them out of it. She says she has no idea when it happened because she watched them unless she was in the bathroom. She finally watching them elsewhere because my daughter, who does virtual college classes, at home walked out of her room and smelled axe body spray and other cologne so strong in the hallway and mom sleeping. Grandson emptied 3 bottles in my sons room. She said it didn’t happen but the smell disproved her. She was asleep and got caught. Finally for today - she had a birthday party for her oldest daughter yesterday and did not in invite her youngest 3. I am fed up, depressed that I have no control over the situation and about a mother not caring about her children. Making no effort to find a place to live. Anxiety about everything. CPS won’t do anything so not sure what to do. Only one is my biological grandchild.