Getting sick of talking about her but still hold anger
Hi:
I had a falling out with a "Friend" who I was close to for 8 years, which has been over 4 years now and almost 5 in fact. A year and a half later, I learned that the relationship what toxic which she admitted herself because I kept getting mad at her. However, she kept putting me down and doing other mean things. In fact, she said some extremely mean things to me that I will not go into. It hurt me so bad that I have been holding anger against her for 3 years, which is since we last met to talk. I have done lots of talking about it and other people are telling me to "Let her go" including my last counselor while others have been supportive. Lately, I have been finding that talking about my ex-friend is getting old and that what happened isn't going anymore. However, I still feel anger towards her.
@Summershy I've been there, although my story involved money and in retrospect it was an unhealthy friendship that actually ended sooner than it did. You're not alone.
@Summershy
anger is super hard to deal with, so you're doing the best you can.
Recently I've been watching many videos about trauma, and crappy relationships (incluiding friendships). And one kinda made me open my eyes: the forgiving and letting go, is not to make the other feel better. is for you. While you cling to anger, you're allowing the other to get more from you. You're giving them a voice when yours is quiet. -> what i'm trying to say is, you're letting your life get away because you're so focoused on that person. You're allowing her to still hurt you. So let go for YOU. So you can feel happy and enjoy life.
Hope it helps.
@Booklover95 I just met with a new counselor last night and started talking about what happened along with acknowledging that I am getting tired of talking about the situation all the time even though I still feel angry. She said that I have not let go but that I don't have the energy anymore to talk about her which I am hoping would be a good sign.