Summershy Member Profile

Three week period of mourning wrapped up early this year

7 Cups Online Therapy / by Summershy

July 31st

Looking out for a friend

Relationship Stress / by Summershy

July 24th

Multiple types of grief hit me hard over the weekend

Grief & Loss / by Summershy

July 2nd

Movie theater drama from my aunt and a respite provider

Trauma Support / by Summershy

June 10th

...See more Dear diary: A few months prior to moving out of my aunt's house, a respite provider, who took me to and from the bus quit on my aunt and I. Why? It also started when I invited her to go see a movie with me at a value cinema as a way of saying "Thank you." Because she had such a rigid schedule and was taking care of another client, I had to limit my options in movies. At the time, I felt like I had to bend over backwards for her and her other client's needs. She even had me schedule the time for us to meet up for the movie., Being that I was there early and wanted to enjoy the outing, another movie was playing and so I decided to catch the first hour and call her to leave a message about it. I also made a habit of checking my phone but was not hearing from her so I decided to watch the entire movie. When the movie got out, I found two voicemails from her. 1. The first when she not until she was sitting in her seat at the cinema 2. The second one was a "Where are you? I have to find you' Meanwhile, my aunt also called me and said that this provider also called and she had mall security and theater staff looking for me, in a very angry tone telling me that what I did was "Unacceptable" Shortly after that, the provider had the nerve to humiliate me by treating 27 year old me like a child and outright punish me, This was where she pulled me away from the cinema, threw a tantrum and basically accusing me of breaking my promise and standing her up. Yet, there were other times where she made it clear she didn't care about me and nor did she really seem to have time for me, -For example: My aunt's house flooded earlier that week but she could not be bothered to come and help me with the mess. Two other floods were way more important.

Accepting that my aunt was abusive

Trauma Support / by Summershy

June 19th

...See more Once upon a time: I lived with my late aunt between 2003-2009 and while she had great qualities, the woman was a covery narcissist. She was never supportive and was never warm, fuzzy or genuine. There were times where she would outright abuse me for "Not doing things her way." Though controlling me worked for a while, I eventually became too independent for her grasp which led to a conflict that eventually had me moving out. To her, I was the one with the problem who was selfish and self-absorbed while the gravy train came to a screeching halt or so she put it. What's more is that the tension between us began growing in July of 2009 when I turned on her computer in her office to try and log onto the internet when she was not home. What was the purpose of that? I was logging into her internet so I could sign up for fall classes, which failed. Additionally, I decided not to tell her, which I now know was wrong. When she came home on that Monday, suddenly she was betrayed and could not trust me. After that, the outbursts, the belittlement, name calling tensified. Suddenly everything I did that bothered her either made me stupid or a know it all. Othertimes, I was the controlling one. Yet, whatever the reason one, suddenly I was walking on eggshells around her. For instance, I would make calls on my cell to a friend during peak times on my phone which led to a surcharge. During that moment when I was dying my hair and looking for some peace, she yelled at me while the door was closed. At at this time that I told her that I could not keep stepping on eggshells around her. After that, she first began telling me that she could not live with me anymore. After that, things became more and more certain that my days living with her were over. While, I felt sad and scared, the more I liked the idea and moved out 3 months later. However, no more abuse, no more bullying, no more tears, just peace. Still, there is something you should know and while there were more rumblings in years but I will save that for another time. However, she died a year after that second set of rumblings that left me going no contact with her. Still, I feel haunted by what the mess she put me through and I am here crying today, which is ok. Love Summershy

Over 16 years later

Trauma Support / by Summershy

June 8th

...See more After revisiting a situation 16 and a half years later, I have been crying as if everything yesterday. Not only did I face emotional and narcissistic abuse from late aunt but also from a respite provide who she was paying at the time. Everything started in late September, early Oct, 2009, they two made my life a living nightmare. Respite provider situation * While my aunt took a two week vacation, I stayed at her house while the provider was being paid to take me to and from the bus along with assisting me with anything else. While she seemed nice enough, she really was not interested in me and nor did she seem to care about me. She was just provided me a ride to the bus. Otherwise, everyone and everything else was more important. 1. At the start of the second week, we had heavy thunderstorms overnight which brought in major flooding. While one part of my aunt's house flooded, the water was in inches but when I called the provider, she dismissed me with "Thanks for letting me know, call me if you need anything." When I called her and asked her to help me later, her friend and her neighbor were a higher priority. "Oh well, I can't come. My neighbor and a friend of mine have more water than your aunt's house. I mean, we are talking about feet, you're talking inches and so I can't come" 2. Then later that week, I invited her to join me for a movie as a last hurrah and a way of saying "Thank you." While she agreed to come, she was taking care of another client who she had a meeting for first. Even though I planned to take to one movie, her client's needs came first. "Oh well, my client can't handle all that noise, let's go to another movie because he has to be in bed at a certain time." At the time, I felt trapped and decided to catch the first hour of another movie beforehand because it was one of those value cinemas. So I called and left a message for the provider that I was in the movie and would be there for an hour while checking my phone. Yet, I didn't see any calls, I eventually watched the rest of the movie. When I exited the theater, there were three voicemails on my phone, which two were from the provider and one from my aunt. At that point, both my aunt and this provider management to humiliate and make me feel bad by accusing me of standing "The poor woman up." Additionally, the provider had the nerve to stir up the pot by having the movie theater staff and the security look for me at the tiny mall. When we finally caught up, the provider punished me by treating me like a child and managing to have all of us leave the cinema. She also said that she was quitting on me because of what "I pulled on her" Meanwhile, here I was apologizing. "You know, you said that a million times but like I said," I am done!" She also told me afterwards, when getting back to her house "You could have just walked out to the theater and told me you were watching that other movie and then went to catch the rest of it. You could have even watched another movie afterward. I would have gladly picked you up too." Yet, this was never discussed with me At that point, I told her "I should have suggested we could see Up instead and it was "You know I cannot except that," You said you were going to see Ice Age since I am a Scrat fan anyway" When I tried telling her how I felt about having a respite provider it was "Are you having a pity party?" Well, when her girlfriend came to watch her other client, she dropped me off at my aunt's house. Meanwhile, I was vulnerable and crying and told her not to leave me. "Call one of your buddies but call me if you need anything" Meanwhile, I went inside and was so confused thinking it was my fault and broke into hysterics and cried so hard, I started throwing things. I even grabbed a bottle of wine and got drunk that night. However, I called a friend in the morning and explained everything who assured me what happened was not my fault. 😿

I am not a people pleaser

Relationship Stress / by Summershy

May 6th

Deciding not to date a friend

Relationship Stress / by Summershy

April 24th

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